Being that I hadn't been to confession since April and something was weighing on me, I did what any good catholic would do. I called up one of my guru's Patti! Guru's are a special lot. While they're your friends and you are close with them, don't ask them to tell you what you want to hear. They always shoot it to you straight. Sometimes with tact, and sometimes without. lol First off, advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, but don't like it. I wanted to know if something that was bothering me needed to be confessed. I was just about positive it was, but I was still kinda hoping for an out. Then, my guru says "what was your intent when this situation happened?" That was easy, I was in a bad mood and I just wanted this situation to go away. She said in true guru fashion "well, you need to figure out what your true intent was and think about it." Which translated from guru to Gina means, 'you know you have to go, but I can't tell you to go, so you have to come to the decision on your own, but I'll wait on the phone till I see the flash of lighting above your house.' And, I decided to go to confession. The great thing about gurus (there's so many!) is that they don't judge, they love you, and they know when confession is on any given day.
I had to take Jaime to work yesterday and I figured, I know it's an hour before, but I'd swing by and see if Fr. Eugene was there early and hopefully I could have a confession in his office and we could chat. I'd like to introduce myself to him (as he's new to the parish) before I sit down and list my faults and offenses. Nope, he wasn't there. So, I ran an errand and then came back at 5:45, confession is from 6-6:15 on Thursday's if you're wondering. As I walked in, I saw it was Adoration...SCORE!!!! So, I sat down in front of Jesus and talked with Him. All the while marveling that 'how cool is this! It's first Friday and I get to go to adoration before confession!!!! I thought first Friday's ended at noon! I don't care the reason, this is awesome!" So, adoration ended and Fr. Eugene goes into the confessional room (we have rooms now, not boxes). And the line of sinners form to enter.
So, I'm in line, about four people back waiting for my turn. Dear God, how's he gonna get to me in 15 minutes not to mention the people behind me. Is anyone even in the room? Did anyone go in? It's been like forever! He's gonna come out and see the line o people and wander why no one went in! Good Lord, is anyone gonna peek and see if someone is in there? Then the line moved, yup, someone was in there. The next two people moved in and out quickly. Then the person in front of me went. Seriously? It's been forever since this person is in there! Don't they know that I have sins to confess? Dude, I'm so not staying for Mass, I have to go home and throw the dumplings in the crock pot and then head of to bunco! Ohhh, I have an idea! Rumor is (well, if it comes from a guru, it's not a rumor but for this blog sake, we'll say it was) that Fr. Eugene give Rosary's as a penance. Can I do a preemptive Rosary while I'm waiting? Yea, God shot that down pretty quick. I think His words were along the lines of "no, and you know better" lol But he said it in a jovial way, not like He was mad. He was laughing at me being me. The person in front is still going on. But I really want to go to confession! Well, you know, that person in there really may be burdened. They probably need it more than I do. Well, no, I need it too. But my burdens aren't any less important than theirs. Fr. Eugene isn't going to have time for me today I fear. Yes, I love the feeling that comes with being absolved of my sins. But I don't do it for the feeling....mostly. I do it to be forgiven. And, I can come back tomorrow too. Even if it's not during confession time, I'm sure I can make an appointment with Fr. Euguene.
And, that's when the person in front of me came out. Fr. Eugene only had time for one more. That was me! Now, when I sat down, he didn't rush me. I rushed because I knew he had to get ready for Mass. But he seemed content to sit there and listen to whatever it was I had to say. It's funny, sometimes, usually, I do an examination of conscience. That means from the time of my last confession to the present, I think of all the ways I've sinned. Yea, how much time do you have? Then, sometimes when I go in to confess, there's not a lot of time and so I rattle of my list, making sure I get the most important ones out. By the way, my penance was a Rosary, the glorious mysteries AND, YES THERE'S AN AND...to read Paul's letter to the Corinthians's Chapter 3. I can do that! Sure, there are times when I forgot to confess something I thought of in line, but a priest at Montserrat had said to me once, that the intent was there, it's okay. So, I think of what I want to confess. I think it's God's way of showing me what I've done wrong. Then, when I get in the confessional, the things that are bothering me most come out. God also has this way of putting me in my place, but in a good way. Like standing in the confessional line. I went from "why can't this person hurry up I want to confess my sins I'm in a hurry". To, "you know, they are just as important to God as I am. I can come back tomorrow". And then viola, God says just like Mema did "Now you're cookin with gas" lol
My bunco group, as you know is full of my nearest and dearest friends. The aforementioned guru is part of the group as well. We sat there for a while before bunco started, when everyone is catching up, to share our confession tales. Please note, while it is against the rules for a priest to tell anyone what he heard in the confessional, the person doing the confessing can. There's nothing greater than sharing who you truly are, warts and all with your friends...especially a guru. And, I told her how excited I was to have first Friday adoration. Then, this whole reasoning happened in the span of about three seconds..."How could it have been first Friday if today was Thursday? It's Thursday! I got to go to Adoration!" God knows exactly what I needed! Patti and I had a great laugh! I know this is going to come as a shock to you. I know you're sitting there thinking "But Gina, you're so awesome, you don't need to go to confession and you don't have warts!" And, I thank you for thinking that, but friends, I am as human as they come. I fail every single day. Sometimes, many times a day. But I keep getting back up. Then, at the end of the day, I fall into bed tired and bruised and I end my day with God. Last night before bed, I read Corinthians's chapter three. Funny thing is, I had part of it highlighted already. Then, I reached for my Rosary. Not just any Rosary mind you. Mom's Rosary. It's kept by my bedside always. Both Mema and my Grandpa's Rosary's hang from my headboard. In the drawer by my bed I have my siblings and my Rosary from when we were children. But, when I pray the Rosary in my room, it's always Mom's Rosary I use. Let's just say it's been a while since I've said a Rosary in my room.
I pick up Mom's Rosary and tears begin to fall. Not a lot, not a big boo hoo fest, but they come just the same. I miss Mom. It will be four years this December that she's been gone. And, while praying the Rosary, I felt her with me. It was a beautiful feeling.
Here's something weird. We had a priest before Fr. Eugene came. I went to confession with him once and he gave me a Rosary plus 12 Hail Mary's as my penance. I went around telling people "I DIDN'T MURDER ANYONE AND I GOT A ROSARY PLUS 12 HAIL MARY'S!!!" This time though, I don't know if it's because I knew I was getting a Rosary ahead of time or if it's because the first time I heard Fr. Eugene do a mass I knew he and I were going to be friends, but I didn't mind saying a Rosary and doing the reading. And, in doing the reading, I can see why he chose it for me. Very cool.
So, that's the story from my confession yesterday. Whoever said "confession is good for the soul" new what they were talking about.
Until next time,
It's Friday, give someone a hug today!
Love,
Me
PS. Mom, they're not always funny :D
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The elastic in my underwear is shot and other observations...
I started my day around 630am. I had to pack up the traveling pilgrim Virgin Mary that I've had for two weeks and send her off to the next person. This always makes me a little sad. I like having her in my house. It just brings me comfort.
I continued my day getting something out of my wallet which I put back in my purse (I could have swore I did!). I then head of to rock the hair net, aka work. Turns out, one of my coworkers wasn't in today. No worries. I rocked the line I was on as usual. As I was doing my work this morning, before lunch, I noticed my underwear kept sliding down in the back. The elastic was shot. Darn me for pulling that string! lol So, I was doing some sort of hoochie coochie dance trying to get them back up without a) looking like I was trying to relieve myself or b)giving myself a wedgie. Finally, it got to the point that I just said frack it. If they fall down, I've got pants on. And, I didn't worry about them the rest of the day!
Then, it wouldn't be a day at my job if someone wasn't complaining about the conotworker. So, finally I said "if she left, after the cheering, party and parade, who would we talk about? " My coworker said 'each other probably'. Thing is, the rest of us, we can laugh at ourselves. Trust me, I was laughing about my undies falling down and shared it with one of my coworkers. If I can make people laugh, awesome!
Then, I go to Kroger. Yea, I found a recipe for chicken and dumplings in the crock pot. All I needed was cream of chicken soup and biscuits from the dairy isle. No prob. I go to pay, go to get out my wallet, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's not in there. So, I head home, minus my two ingredients. I was all excited b/c George is staying late at work today, dinner would cook all afternoon and be ready when he got home. So, I get home, look for my wallet. Nowhere to be found. Go back to the minivan, nope it's not there. Look on the couch, nope it's not there. I'm a little freaked at this point. What's a girl to do? I pray to St. Anthony. "Please, dude, help me find my wallet". I fruitlessly look a little more, then I sit on the floor to play with Iggy. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I see my wallet. On the couch. Where I just looked. So of course I send up thank you's to God, St. Anthony, Mema "and anyone who found it and put it on the couch".
This has already been a grace filled week, and it's only Wednesday. I say grace filled, minus the underwear situation. We drove out to Texas A&M on Monday for a tour. It was beautiful. And, I was having moments of panic and uncertainty. My good friend and neighbor, Cat, happened to text me during the trip and she was awesome at making me not fly off the handle and be rational. She's awesome. Then, I come home and explain the trip to my Carol. She's amazing. She too is the voice of reason that I usually lack. My son is a wonderful young man. He's going to be just fine. My Patti says "surrender all your children to God". So, that's what I'm doing. Really hard for a control freak like me! lol
Yesterday was my niece, Elizabeth's birthday! She's officially NINE! I get to make the cake! They're coming over on Sunday for dinner and cake. I love my niece and nephews so much. Anything I can do to make them happy, makes me happy.
Then, I had some conversations with my Tina. We have conversations that if they were ever recorded would make Hugh Heffner blush! lol We have so much fun and laugh so hard. Sure, we're serious sometimes, but usually, not so much! lol Her birthday is 9/11. She'll be FORTY this year! I told her forty is awesome. The best gift is turning forty. With it comes the 'I don't give a crap attitude'. It's awesome!
Then, today, one of my favorite grace filled moments happened. My Jenni called today just to chat. And, as we're talking, we're trying to plan a time where we can go to lunch. Just the two of us. And, she says how she wants to spend special time, just her and I together. How awesome is that? God and my friends make me feel so loved :D
My ultimate favorite moment, grace filled and otherwise, was driving down to Texas A&M with George. Yes, Jaime was with us. But four hours each way of just me and George time, that was awesome! We laughed, we talked, we didn't talk. We don't have too. We love the silent moments just as much as other times. It was just lovely. One of my favorite blessings of the week.
So, I have some prayer requests for you guys:
My friend Cat had to put her beloved dog to rest last Friday. Please pray for healing for their family.
My other friend, her dog had surgery today for a ruptured spleen. Please say prayers of healing for their family. And, a happy birthday to their senior!
Prayers of thanksgiving for my Elizabeth on her birthday.
Prayers of discernment for Jaime as he chooses a college.
Until next time,
Look for the grace moments during your day :D
Love,
Me
I continued my day getting something out of my wallet which I put back in my purse (I could have swore I did!). I then head of to rock the hair net, aka work. Turns out, one of my coworkers wasn't in today. No worries. I rocked the line I was on as usual. As I was doing my work this morning, before lunch, I noticed my underwear kept sliding down in the back. The elastic was shot. Darn me for pulling that string! lol So, I was doing some sort of hoochie coochie dance trying to get them back up without a) looking like I was trying to relieve myself or b)giving myself a wedgie. Finally, it got to the point that I just said frack it. If they fall down, I've got pants on. And, I didn't worry about them the rest of the day!
Then, it wouldn't be a day at my job if someone wasn't complaining about the conotworker. So, finally I said "if she left, after the cheering, party and parade, who would we talk about? " My coworker said 'each other probably'. Thing is, the rest of us, we can laugh at ourselves. Trust me, I was laughing about my undies falling down and shared it with one of my coworkers. If I can make people laugh, awesome!
Then, I go to Kroger. Yea, I found a recipe for chicken and dumplings in the crock pot. All I needed was cream of chicken soup and biscuits from the dairy isle. No prob. I go to pay, go to get out my wallet, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's not in there. So, I head home, minus my two ingredients. I was all excited b/c George is staying late at work today, dinner would cook all afternoon and be ready when he got home. So, I get home, look for my wallet. Nowhere to be found. Go back to the minivan, nope it's not there. Look on the couch, nope it's not there. I'm a little freaked at this point. What's a girl to do? I pray to St. Anthony. "Please, dude, help me find my wallet". I fruitlessly look a little more, then I sit on the floor to play with Iggy. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I see my wallet. On the couch. Where I just looked. So of course I send up thank you's to God, St. Anthony, Mema "and anyone who found it and put it on the couch".
This has already been a grace filled week, and it's only Wednesday. I say grace filled, minus the underwear situation. We drove out to Texas A&M on Monday for a tour. It was beautiful. And, I was having moments of panic and uncertainty. My good friend and neighbor, Cat, happened to text me during the trip and she was awesome at making me not fly off the handle and be rational. She's awesome. Then, I come home and explain the trip to my Carol. She's amazing. She too is the voice of reason that I usually lack. My son is a wonderful young man. He's going to be just fine. My Patti says "surrender all your children to God". So, that's what I'm doing. Really hard for a control freak like me! lol
Yesterday was my niece, Elizabeth's birthday! She's officially NINE! I get to make the cake! They're coming over on Sunday for dinner and cake. I love my niece and nephews so much. Anything I can do to make them happy, makes me happy.
Then, I had some conversations with my Tina. We have conversations that if they were ever recorded would make Hugh Heffner blush! lol We have so much fun and laugh so hard. Sure, we're serious sometimes, but usually, not so much! lol Her birthday is 9/11. She'll be FORTY this year! I told her forty is awesome. The best gift is turning forty. With it comes the 'I don't give a crap attitude'. It's awesome!
Then, today, one of my favorite grace filled moments happened. My Jenni called today just to chat. And, as we're talking, we're trying to plan a time where we can go to lunch. Just the two of us. And, she says how she wants to spend special time, just her and I together. How awesome is that? God and my friends make me feel so loved :D
My ultimate favorite moment, grace filled and otherwise, was driving down to Texas A&M with George. Yes, Jaime was with us. But four hours each way of just me and George time, that was awesome! We laughed, we talked, we didn't talk. We don't have too. We love the silent moments just as much as other times. It was just lovely. One of my favorite blessings of the week.
So, I have some prayer requests for you guys:
My friend Cat had to put her beloved dog to rest last Friday. Please pray for healing for their family.
My other friend, her dog had surgery today for a ruptured spleen. Please say prayers of healing for their family. And, a happy birthday to their senior!
Prayers of thanksgiving for my Elizabeth on her birthday.
Prayers of discernment for Jaime as he chooses a college.
Until next time,
Look for the grace moments during your day :D
Love,
Me
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
True calling, the dentist and rocket science
I am a smart alec. Big time. For those of you who don't know me well, trust me. And, one of these days, my mouth is going to get me into trouble and possibly get me fired. So, you say "just keep your mouth shut". Clearly, you don't know me then. I talk all the time, and, I promise, it's not just to hear myself talk. I missed my first calling as a back up singer, which I was totally born to do, and then I missed my true calling as a comedienne! I love the sound of laughter. I love, LOVE to make my friends laugh, even if it's at my own expense. I talk to friends about what's bugging them, I talk about my faith, and I talk about injustices.
I happen to like my job. It's not rocket science (thank God for that! lol All that math! Makes me shudder!). It's four hours a day, and it keeps me off the streets and mostly out of trouble. However, there's a huge injustice going on there. It's been going on for even longer than the three years I've been there. Everyone knows about it, including the managers. The manager can't do anything because the main hiring/firing person won't do anything about it. This injustice happens because this coworker (can you call them a coworker if they don't work?) kept because of the color of their skin. They do not work. They do whatever they wish, when they wish. This week, our psuedo assistant mgr told the mgr that the other workers are getting fed up with the situation and having to do our work plus the other persons and it's only week TWO! She was told by Mr. Manager that if said person doesn't do what they're suppose to that the rest of us "will have to pick up said persons slack". That did not go over well.
So, yesterday, my mouth was in full gear. Truth be told, it was awesome! lol We were doing the dishes and Mr. Manager comes over to help and I looked at him and said "don't worry, we got it, we're picking up the slack." Not said meanly, but more comically. He just waved me off. I don't care what color you are, you could be any color under the sun or a combination of all the colors like the fruit stripped zebra, but if you can't do your job, you shouldn't be there. What makes it worse is that we know that nothing can be or better yet, will be done to change the situation. And, as I said, it's only week two!
I know I'm not suppose to judge. All of us at work try daily not to complain about the situation. Honestly, we do, but then something happens and BAM....We're right there with "did you just see that?" What makes it worse is that we KNOW that if we acted the way this conotworker did, we would be written up then fired. And, the others wouldn't have to pick up our slack. So, we try our best not to complain and not to judge. And, as I was stewing about the situation last night it occurred to me, what would we do if the employee was ever removed? I mean, after the raging party where we all laughed cheered and had a party in the streets. Who would we talk about? What would we complain about? Is it possible that it would be no one? Now, I must stress to you that none of us at work are perfect. Nope, not a one. And, you put more than two women together, things can get a bit feisty. Which I'd be okay with. I'm thinkin though, that the torch and pitchforks we carry around we wouldn't need anymore. Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful!
So, Jesus is all "love your neighbor as yourself". Am I the only one out there who has trouble with this one? First off, it took me years, eons, even to like myself. Really like my quirkiness and embrace who I am let alone love myself. How am I suppose to love my neighbor? I don't even know who my neighbors are, well except for Cat and Patrick and I just love them :D Shout out to the Underwoods!!!! I mean I see the neighbors to occasionally say hello too, but how am I suppose to love them, if I don't know them? I mean, I don't wish ill will on them. I don't wish anything bad to befall them. So, here's my dilema. I go to work everyday, knowing full well that at some point I'm gonna be irked, no matter how hard I work the 'don't fret' mantra. I don't want to have to work with the injustice everyday, but I have too. What's the alternative? How would I feel if I were this conotworker that as a person is okay but as a conotworker no one can stand? I cannot put myself in their shoes because I'm a worker. I do what is needed to get the job done. So, sometimes I take my own advice and pray for said conotworker. It's easy to pray for the people you like, try doing it for the people you don't. Maybe that's why conotworker is there. To teach me patience and tolerance (isn't that why I have teenagers? lol) and not to judge.
Every dentist I've ever been to says "you have such a small mouth!" And, I just chuckle. I use my mouth to praise God and my family and friends. I use my mouth to feed me (sometimes more than I should, but seriously, have you tried the pizza from Joe's Italian Bistro!?) and I use my mouth to judge and hurt others. I know that's not what I'm suppose to do. But, I am human, and I have some major failings. Judging being one of them. I called up my bff the other day and said "Hey, I read this on judging and it reminded me of us!" lol "We need to work on our judging" And, then I went to work and judged the conotworker. There's a reason we are taught to *become* like Jesus. That's because we are *not* Jesus. I don't like being judge for how I look, my quirkiness, my weight, my hair color or my big mouth. No one likes to be judge, that is of course, unless you're the winner! Ever play Monopoly? Whenever one of us got the card that said "you won second prize in a beauty contest" inevitably one of us siblings who didn't get the card would say "Yea, you were the only one that showed up!" Funny, right? Point is no one likes to be judged. So, I will continue to show up everyday and work and try not to judge. And, try and keep my mouth shut and not be fired. After all, I really like the people I work with, sans, the conotworker. We laugh and we have fun and get the job done. And, after all, it's not rocket science (shuddering at the amount of math they have to know)
Until next time,
Pray for baby Lily who is getting baptized on Saturday
Love,
Me
I happen to like my job. It's not rocket science (thank God for that! lol All that math! Makes me shudder!). It's four hours a day, and it keeps me off the streets and mostly out of trouble. However, there's a huge injustice going on there. It's been going on for even longer than the three years I've been there. Everyone knows about it, including the managers. The manager can't do anything because the main hiring/firing person won't do anything about it. This injustice happens because this coworker (can you call them a coworker if they don't work?) kept because of the color of their skin. They do not work. They do whatever they wish, when they wish. This week, our psuedo assistant mgr told the mgr that the other workers are getting fed up with the situation and having to do our work plus the other persons and it's only week TWO! She was told by Mr. Manager that if said person doesn't do what they're suppose to that the rest of us "will have to pick up said persons slack". That did not go over well.
So, yesterday, my mouth was in full gear. Truth be told, it was awesome! lol We were doing the dishes and Mr. Manager comes over to help and I looked at him and said "don't worry, we got it, we're picking up the slack." Not said meanly, but more comically. He just waved me off. I don't care what color you are, you could be any color under the sun or a combination of all the colors like the fruit stripped zebra, but if you can't do your job, you shouldn't be there. What makes it worse is that we know that nothing can be or better yet, will be done to change the situation. And, as I said, it's only week two!
I know I'm not suppose to judge. All of us at work try daily not to complain about the situation. Honestly, we do, but then something happens and BAM....We're right there with "did you just see that?" What makes it worse is that we KNOW that if we acted the way this conotworker did, we would be written up then fired. And, the others wouldn't have to pick up our slack. So, we try our best not to complain and not to judge. And, as I was stewing about the situation last night it occurred to me, what would we do if the employee was ever removed? I mean, after the raging party where we all laughed cheered and had a party in the streets. Who would we talk about? What would we complain about? Is it possible that it would be no one? Now, I must stress to you that none of us at work are perfect. Nope, not a one. And, you put more than two women together, things can get a bit feisty. Which I'd be okay with. I'm thinkin though, that the torch and pitchforks we carry around we wouldn't need anymore. Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful!
So, Jesus is all "love your neighbor as yourself". Am I the only one out there who has trouble with this one? First off, it took me years, eons, even to like myself. Really like my quirkiness and embrace who I am let alone love myself. How am I suppose to love my neighbor? I don't even know who my neighbors are, well except for Cat and Patrick and I just love them :D Shout out to the Underwoods!!!! I mean I see the neighbors to occasionally say hello too, but how am I suppose to love them, if I don't know them? I mean, I don't wish ill will on them. I don't wish anything bad to befall them. So, here's my dilema. I go to work everyday, knowing full well that at some point I'm gonna be irked, no matter how hard I work the 'don't fret' mantra. I don't want to have to work with the injustice everyday, but I have too. What's the alternative? How would I feel if I were this conotworker that as a person is okay but as a conotworker no one can stand? I cannot put myself in their shoes because I'm a worker. I do what is needed to get the job done. So, sometimes I take my own advice and pray for said conotworker. It's easy to pray for the people you like, try doing it for the people you don't. Maybe that's why conotworker is there. To teach me patience and tolerance (isn't that why I have teenagers? lol) and not to judge.
Every dentist I've ever been to says "you have such a small mouth!" And, I just chuckle. I use my mouth to praise God and my family and friends. I use my mouth to feed me (sometimes more than I should, but seriously, have you tried the pizza from Joe's Italian Bistro!?) and I use my mouth to judge and hurt others. I know that's not what I'm suppose to do. But, I am human, and I have some major failings. Judging being one of them. I called up my bff the other day and said "Hey, I read this on judging and it reminded me of us!" lol "We need to work on our judging" And, then I went to work and judged the conotworker. There's a reason we are taught to *become* like Jesus. That's because we are *not* Jesus. I don't like being judge for how I look, my quirkiness, my weight, my hair color or my big mouth. No one likes to be judge, that is of course, unless you're the winner! Ever play Monopoly? Whenever one of us got the card that said "you won second prize in a beauty contest" inevitably one of us siblings who didn't get the card would say "Yea, you were the only one that showed up!" Funny, right? Point is no one likes to be judged. So, I will continue to show up everyday and work and try not to judge. And, try and keep my mouth shut and not be fired. After all, I really like the people I work with, sans, the conotworker. We laugh and we have fun and get the job done. And, after all, it's not rocket science (shuddering at the amount of math they have to know)
Until next time,
Pray for baby Lily who is getting baptized on Saturday
Love,
Me
Friday, August 26, 2011
It's the little things
Like when I'm at work and my friend mops my area or my friend finishes filling out a log for me because I had ketchup all over my gloves.
Like when I'm having a get together and my friend gives me her box of wine that she wasn't using and won't take any money for it.
Like when I can hear my mom smile over the phone.
When my daughter is so thankful that I picked her up from school so she didn't have to carry both pairs of her band shoes and all her school stuff.
When my son brings me bbq home from his work (Rudy's) just because.
When my husband meets me at the grocery store to switch cars because his has air and the air in the minivan is going wacky.
When my best friend calls and says "YOU'RE ALIVE!"""" It's been days since we've talked!
Or when my other best friend calls first thing in the morning to share her day with me.
It's when my friends stops by with extra coupons that they're not using.
It's when my girls wash the dog just because. Or my son puts gas in the minivan as thanks for taking him too and from work.
It's an email from my dad, George telling me all about his trip and what an awesome time he had.
It's my new motto at work "don't fret". It's not my line, it doesn't concern me, so I won't fret over it. This week has been full of blessings, as is every week, I just actually paid attention this week! lol
It's cool when I actually pay attention how much I notice God and His blessings. What's that scripture line about being good with little things and He'll give you big things? I can't remember. But, you get my point.
God is awesome. I just have to pay attention more. And, if I'm diligent with the small stuff, then I won't miss the big stuff :D
What are you missing by not paying attention?
Until next time,
Pray for members of our parish who lost their 11 month old son.
Love,
Me
Like when I'm having a get together and my friend gives me her box of wine that she wasn't using and won't take any money for it.
Like when I can hear my mom smile over the phone.
When my daughter is so thankful that I picked her up from school so she didn't have to carry both pairs of her band shoes and all her school stuff.
When my son brings me bbq home from his work (Rudy's) just because.
When my husband meets me at the grocery store to switch cars because his has air and the air in the minivan is going wacky.
When my best friend calls and says "YOU'RE ALIVE!"""" It's been days since we've talked!
Or when my other best friend calls first thing in the morning to share her day with me.
It's when my friends stops by with extra coupons that they're not using.
It's when my girls wash the dog just because. Or my son puts gas in the minivan as thanks for taking him too and from work.
It's an email from my dad, George telling me all about his trip and what an awesome time he had.
It's my new motto at work "don't fret". It's not my line, it doesn't concern me, so I won't fret over it. This week has been full of blessings, as is every week, I just actually paid attention this week! lol
It's cool when I actually pay attention how much I notice God and His blessings. What's that scripture line about being good with little things and He'll give you big things? I can't remember. But, you get my point.
God is awesome. I just have to pay attention more. And, if I'm diligent with the small stuff, then I won't miss the big stuff :D
What are you missing by not paying attention?
Until next time,
Pray for members of our parish who lost their 11 month old son.
Love,
Me
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Funerals, Friends, and Audrey Hepburn
I have a love hate relationship with funerals.
I sing at funerals. As often as my schedule lets me. And, at every funeral I sing, I cry, whether I know the person or not. Today, I sang at a funeral. While I knew who the gentleman was, my dear friends, dad, I didn't know him well.
I often wonder what goes through peoples minds during a funeral. Not the family of the deceased, but the people who came to support their friend or family member. Me? I tend to think of lots of things. I think about my own funeral. If the reading that was done during this funeral I would like for mine. I think of who I want to do what. Yes, I know, I have control issues. I do not want "May the Angels Lead You into Paradise" sung at my funeral! While it's a pretty song, it's WAY overdone, in my honest opinion. I would prefer Pie Jesus. Such an amazing song!
Then, after I think about my own funeral, I think about the last person close to me who passed away. In this case it was my Mema a year ago. When I see the family walk up at the beginning of the Mass, I remember walking behind Mom's (George's) coffin. I tend to look at the family. I know that Fr. Tim is talking to them, will they be able to hear and remember what he's saying? Will they remember what was said at the Eulogy (fyi, my favorite part of funerals!). Then, I remember back to Mom's funeral. I remember Father said the Mom 'lived the beatitudes'. I don't remember much from the eulogy done by a family friend, but I remember smiling and that he described Mom very well. So, I think that my friend and her family absorbed what they need to help them cope through the coming trials of life without their loved one.
As I said above, I like to watch the family. I saw grief, sure, but I saw pure love. Pure amazing love. From a Dad consoling his son at the loss of his grandfather. I saw pure love as the grandchildren walked back to get the gifts to present at the altar and one of the older grandchildren put his arm around a grandchild just a little younger than him. I watched how one of the grandchildren altar served. I marveled at just how hard that had to be for him, yet how beautiful that he was able to serve and be a part of something so very special. I saw husbands consoling wives. I saw a son consoling his mother and sister while grieving himself. I saw a beautiful, strong, family bond. I saw Jesus.
You're probably scratching your head wondering why the eulogy is my favorite part of a funeral mass, and I'll tell you. The eulogy is the part of the mass where someone gets up to talk about the deceased. Sometimes, more than one person. And, it's all good stuff. I mean, have you guys ever been to a funeral where the person gets up and says "Man, that Mike, what a schmuck, huh!? He was an alcoholic who couldn't even walk straight when he was sober!" No, people say nice things. Deacon Ron gave a most beautiful eulogy of my friends dad today. Her dad passed along messages through Deacon Ron. How cool is that! And, to see Deacon Ron so stoic as he talked so lovingly about his friend that he just lost was amazing. I love the eulogy because it's a chance to share with everyone how great the deceased was. Even if they had problems, they were loved. There's always something nice to say about everyone, even if you have to dig a little deeper sometimes. And, the eulogy reminds us that are left that a) we are human, as we all like to forget sometimes, b) that life is fleeting, c) that we have work to do, and d) that we are loved. I take something away from each funeral I attend with the intentions of working on that myself, from living the beatitudes, to saying a rosary everyday, to being a better person. And, as usual, I constantly fall short. And, you know what? That's okay. I'm human.
Now, why I hate funerals.
Well, first is the obvious, someone died. That means someone is grieving. Someone lost someone so dear to them. As I've said before, one of my favorite things about me is my least favorite thing about me, my heart. It feels *everything*, including empathy. For those of you who don't know what that is, empathy is your pain, I feel, in my heart. Secondly, I dislike funerals b/c I know how my family works. I have come from a big family with aunts and uncles and cousins all of which we're not close to for one reason or another. So, when someone passes, there won't be the closeness and the Jesus of it all and with that, I feel sad. Now, on George's side, I am exceptionally close to his dad. He is the dad that I've always wanted. He loves me, warts and all. True, unconditional, love. When he goes, I'll be a basket case. Ditto when my mom goes. Funny thing...I've always said that when Mema passed away I'd have to be put in the nut house because I'll go crazy. And, after she did, it took a long time for me to feel semi normal. Funerals and the grief and my heart, take me right back to Mema's death and I struggle for just a little bit.
Why then, do I continue to sing at funerals if I cry and get a little depressed all over again? Because whether it's the deceased, a family member or friend, or someone singing in the choir, everyone needs to feel loved. And, like Audry Hepburn says ""I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."
Until next time,
Pray for the repose of the soul of my friends Dad and for all those grieving.
Love,
Me
I sing at funerals. As often as my schedule lets me. And, at every funeral I sing, I cry, whether I know the person or not. Today, I sang at a funeral. While I knew who the gentleman was, my dear friends, dad, I didn't know him well.
I often wonder what goes through peoples minds during a funeral. Not the family of the deceased, but the people who came to support their friend or family member. Me? I tend to think of lots of things. I think about my own funeral. If the reading that was done during this funeral I would like for mine. I think of who I want to do what. Yes, I know, I have control issues. I do not want "May the Angels Lead You into Paradise" sung at my funeral! While it's a pretty song, it's WAY overdone, in my honest opinion. I would prefer Pie Jesus. Such an amazing song!
Then, after I think about my own funeral, I think about the last person close to me who passed away. In this case it was my Mema a year ago. When I see the family walk up at the beginning of the Mass, I remember walking behind Mom's (George's) coffin. I tend to look at the family. I know that Fr. Tim is talking to them, will they be able to hear and remember what he's saying? Will they remember what was said at the Eulogy (fyi, my favorite part of funerals!). Then, I remember back to Mom's funeral. I remember Father said the Mom 'lived the beatitudes'. I don't remember much from the eulogy done by a family friend, but I remember smiling and that he described Mom very well. So, I think that my friend and her family absorbed what they need to help them cope through the coming trials of life without their loved one.
As I said above, I like to watch the family. I saw grief, sure, but I saw pure love. Pure amazing love. From a Dad consoling his son at the loss of his grandfather. I saw pure love as the grandchildren walked back to get the gifts to present at the altar and one of the older grandchildren put his arm around a grandchild just a little younger than him. I watched how one of the grandchildren altar served. I marveled at just how hard that had to be for him, yet how beautiful that he was able to serve and be a part of something so very special. I saw husbands consoling wives. I saw a son consoling his mother and sister while grieving himself. I saw a beautiful, strong, family bond. I saw Jesus.
You're probably scratching your head wondering why the eulogy is my favorite part of a funeral mass, and I'll tell you. The eulogy is the part of the mass where someone gets up to talk about the deceased. Sometimes, more than one person. And, it's all good stuff. I mean, have you guys ever been to a funeral where the person gets up and says "Man, that Mike, what a schmuck, huh!? He was an alcoholic who couldn't even walk straight when he was sober!" No, people say nice things. Deacon Ron gave a most beautiful eulogy of my friends dad today. Her dad passed along messages through Deacon Ron. How cool is that! And, to see Deacon Ron so stoic as he talked so lovingly about his friend that he just lost was amazing. I love the eulogy because it's a chance to share with everyone how great the deceased was. Even if they had problems, they were loved. There's always something nice to say about everyone, even if you have to dig a little deeper sometimes. And, the eulogy reminds us that are left that a) we are human, as we all like to forget sometimes, b) that life is fleeting, c) that we have work to do, and d) that we are loved. I take something away from each funeral I attend with the intentions of working on that myself, from living the beatitudes, to saying a rosary everyday, to being a better person. And, as usual, I constantly fall short. And, you know what? That's okay. I'm human.
Now, why I hate funerals.
Well, first is the obvious, someone died. That means someone is grieving. Someone lost someone so dear to them. As I've said before, one of my favorite things about me is my least favorite thing about me, my heart. It feels *everything*, including empathy. For those of you who don't know what that is, empathy is your pain, I feel, in my heart. Secondly, I dislike funerals b/c I know how my family works. I have come from a big family with aunts and uncles and cousins all of which we're not close to for one reason or another. So, when someone passes, there won't be the closeness and the Jesus of it all and with that, I feel sad. Now, on George's side, I am exceptionally close to his dad. He is the dad that I've always wanted. He loves me, warts and all. True, unconditional, love. When he goes, I'll be a basket case. Ditto when my mom goes. Funny thing...I've always said that when Mema passed away I'd have to be put in the nut house because I'll go crazy. And, after she did, it took a long time for me to feel semi normal. Funerals and the grief and my heart, take me right back to Mema's death and I struggle for just a little bit.
Why then, do I continue to sing at funerals if I cry and get a little depressed all over again? Because whether it's the deceased, a family member or friend, or someone singing in the choir, everyone needs to feel loved. And, like Audry Hepburn says ""I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."
Until next time,
Pray for the repose of the soul of my friends Dad and for all those grieving.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
God, Mary Boyle, and Dionne Warwick
Good morning!
Everyone have your cup o joe? tea? red bull? Sit back, relax. I have some things to share.
This has been an amazing week. Are you guys aware it's only Wednesday!?! Like Ferris Bueller says "Life moves at the speed of light. If you don't stop and look around, you might miss something". So, this is me, stopping and looking around.
Monday, I stopped by my Carol's to drop some stuff off. (No, not the kids, they were dropped off the night before. lol) And, in the process she wanted to give George and I a little thank you for helping her and Brian out. Now, for those of you who don't know, I have a hard time receiving. I'm what you call a giver. It makes me blissfully happy to give...love, hugs, gifts (bad advice! lol) it doesn't matter. George taught me how to receive but that's easy when it comes from him. Although I'm still waiting on my cottage in Ireland! lol. But, from, others. It's difficult to receive. So, here we are and she wants to give me something, even though it is totally unnecessary, which she knows. I say "you know how hard it is for me to receive". And in true best friend only style she says "I know, just say "thank you". So, me, close to tears, says 'thank you'. That was a grace filled moment.
Then, yesterday, Tuesday, I went to Mass. Have I told you how much I love Fr. Eugene!? I haven't even officially met him yet, but he just has this air about him. Like a Fr. Antony air. Not that he is or can replace my Fr. Antony. Which reminds me, Fr. Antony, if you're reading this, don't forget I sent you an email :D. But, I digress. Fr. Eugene has some really great homilies. Then, after Mass, I got to see my Russ for a few minutes! He's on his way to Boston for orientation so, please say some prayers for him.
Then, I stopped in to see my Mary. Anytime I spend with Mary is good time. Even if it's for a few minutes. I can check in on her. See how I can help make her life a little easier. She is amazing and yet another one of my favorite gifts from my chrp weekend. Yesterday, we had time for some beautiful conversation. And, in the course she says "look how far you've come in seven years!" She's so smart. Yup, Mary, God is good. If seven years ago you told me I'd have two best friends instead of none, I'd tell you you were crazy. If you told me that my faith would grow in leaps and bounds, I'd say you were nuts. If you told me, I'd not only read the bible, but that I would have favorite scriptures and stories, I'd say you were a bible thumper and to please leave me alone. Seven years later, I have two best friends, multiple spiritual gurus, 2 amazing podmates, favorite scripture, favorite psalms, favorite stories and parables from the bible. I've got my funeral planned (minus the songs, they keep changing, but I have my favorite readings listed and my Teresa is doing my eulogy. No, as far as I know I'm not going anytime soon, you know me, I have to have control! lol) I now want to be cremated and permanently reside at 1515 Greenville ave (for those of you who don't know, it's my church). After all, it is my home :D In seven years, I have been blessed so much, that if the blessings cease, I have enough to last me a lifetime. In seven years, I have been blessed with 3 spiritual retreats, many amazing silent retreats, and a marriage retreat. I have gained so many wonderful friends. I've learned how to have friends and to be a friend. I've learned how not to guard my heart so close. I've learned that friendships come and go, but love stays forever. I've learned that God gives me what I need even though I don't know I need it. The biggest being my husband. I've learned what adoration is and how it's a part of me. I'm learning, albeit slowly, that God is patient with me and I need to be patient with myself. And, also slowly, that life is a marathon, not a sprint. I don't have to have everything RIGHT NOW! lol
Last night, my husband and I sat at a band meeting for freshman parents. I couldn't help but feel bittersweet. It's Sarah's first year in the Allen Band. It's Jaime's SENIOR YEAR. My son is going to go off to college and leave me. He's going to grow into the man that God created him to be. This sucks. Not really. I know it's a good thing. I've been focusing a lot on next fall when he goes off to college. If I keep that up, I will miss all the good stuff that's about to happen. So, I am trying to focus on the present. However, that doesn't stop me from getting teary eyed. So, in the words of one of my favorite singers Dionne Warwick "if you see me walking down the street, and I start to cry, each time we meet...walk on by". I promise you, nothings wrong. No one died. Life isn't over. It's just my heart coming out through my eyes.
So, that's where we are today. Wednesday. Totally filled, with love, grace, and coffee.
Until next time,
Pray for the freshman who are marching in the heat.
Love,
Me
Everyone have your cup o joe? tea? red bull? Sit back, relax. I have some things to share.
This has been an amazing week. Are you guys aware it's only Wednesday!?! Like Ferris Bueller says "Life moves at the speed of light. If you don't stop and look around, you might miss something". So, this is me, stopping and looking around.
Monday, I stopped by my Carol's to drop some stuff off. (No, not the kids, they were dropped off the night before. lol) And, in the process she wanted to give George and I a little thank you for helping her and Brian out. Now, for those of you who don't know, I have a hard time receiving. I'm what you call a giver. It makes me blissfully happy to give...love, hugs, gifts (bad advice! lol) it doesn't matter. George taught me how to receive but that's easy when it comes from him. Although I'm still waiting on my cottage in Ireland! lol. But, from, others. It's difficult to receive. So, here we are and she wants to give me something, even though it is totally unnecessary, which she knows. I say "you know how hard it is for me to receive". And in true best friend only style she says "I know, just say "thank you". So, me, close to tears, says 'thank you'. That was a grace filled moment.
Then, yesterday, Tuesday, I went to Mass. Have I told you how much I love Fr. Eugene!? I haven't even officially met him yet, but he just has this air about him. Like a Fr. Antony air. Not that he is or can replace my Fr. Antony. Which reminds me, Fr. Antony, if you're reading this, don't forget I sent you an email :D. But, I digress. Fr. Eugene has some really great homilies. Then, after Mass, I got to see my Russ for a few minutes! He's on his way to Boston for orientation so, please say some prayers for him.
Then, I stopped in to see my Mary. Anytime I spend with Mary is good time. Even if it's for a few minutes. I can check in on her. See how I can help make her life a little easier. She is amazing and yet another one of my favorite gifts from my chrp weekend. Yesterday, we had time for some beautiful conversation. And, in the course she says "look how far you've come in seven years!" She's so smart. Yup, Mary, God is good. If seven years ago you told me I'd have two best friends instead of none, I'd tell you you were crazy. If you told me that my faith would grow in leaps and bounds, I'd say you were nuts. If you told me, I'd not only read the bible, but that I would have favorite scriptures and stories, I'd say you were a bible thumper and to please leave me alone. Seven years later, I have two best friends, multiple spiritual gurus, 2 amazing podmates, favorite scripture, favorite psalms, favorite stories and parables from the bible. I've got my funeral planned (minus the songs, they keep changing, but I have my favorite readings listed and my Teresa is doing my eulogy. No, as far as I know I'm not going anytime soon, you know me, I have to have control! lol) I now want to be cremated and permanently reside at 1515 Greenville ave (for those of you who don't know, it's my church). After all, it is my home :D In seven years, I have been blessed so much, that if the blessings cease, I have enough to last me a lifetime. In seven years, I have been blessed with 3 spiritual retreats, many amazing silent retreats, and a marriage retreat. I have gained so many wonderful friends. I've learned how to have friends and to be a friend. I've learned how not to guard my heart so close. I've learned that friendships come and go, but love stays forever. I've learned that God gives me what I need even though I don't know I need it. The biggest being my husband. I've learned what adoration is and how it's a part of me. I'm learning, albeit slowly, that God is patient with me and I need to be patient with myself. And, also slowly, that life is a marathon, not a sprint. I don't have to have everything RIGHT NOW! lol
Last night, my husband and I sat at a band meeting for freshman parents. I couldn't help but feel bittersweet. It's Sarah's first year in the Allen Band. It's Jaime's SENIOR YEAR. My son is going to go off to college and leave me. He's going to grow into the man that God created him to be. This sucks. Not really. I know it's a good thing. I've been focusing a lot on next fall when he goes off to college. If I keep that up, I will miss all the good stuff that's about to happen. So, I am trying to focus on the present. However, that doesn't stop me from getting teary eyed. So, in the words of one of my favorite singers Dionne Warwick "if you see me walking down the street, and I start to cry, each time we meet...walk on by". I promise you, nothings wrong. No one died. Life isn't over. It's just my heart coming out through my eyes.
So, that's where we are today. Wednesday. Totally filled, with love, grace, and coffee.
Until next time,
Pray for the freshman who are marching in the heat.
Love,
Me
Saturday, July 30, 2011
God is smarter than me
Shocker, right! Yea, that little nugget of information came to me this morning.
Being born and raised in my family, I was the middle child. Or in Star Trek terms, two of three. I felt cheated. Mema had six kids (my mom was two of six), Mema came from something like 9. My grandpa came from something of like 13. I wanted to be from a big family. That didn't happen. So, I thought I would make my own! Nope. No such luck. I have three.
After Sarah was born things happened and I could no longer have children. This is something I've struggled with greatly over the years. And, I mean struggled. I so wanted to have more children. I so wanted to have more children with my husband. To go through pregnancy with him. I wanted it more than anything. When we were in Kansas, we had the opportunity for this dream to come true. But, when George lost his job, there went that chance. When we moved to Texas 7 years ago we looked into it extensively. But it wasn't in the cards. We even looked at foster adopt, but that wasn't in the cards either.
Two years ago, I finally forgave myself. It was twelve years in the making. But I finally did. I told God, if I can't have anymore children, please take away this longing. And, boy did He! Almost immediately after this, one of my best friends got pregnant (surprise!) and she was afraid to tell me. She thought I'd be upset b/c I couldn't have anymore. It was quite the opposite. I was so happy for her. I became cool aunt Gina to the baby to be. I spoiled her even while she was in the tummy. She's almost one now. She's amazing and she knows who I am, even if I don't see her as often as I'd like. But when she sees me and hears my voice, her whole face lights up and she smiles and makes me feel amazing.
The past five days, I've had the opportunity to have my wish come true. No, I'm not pregnant. My Carol and Brian are on their second honeymoon in Canada. Which means for me, I get her kids. All four of them! For those of you who don't know, our families met in 2004 at St. Jude's at a Marriage in the Movies class. Carol and I found out we were both going to the upcoming Christ Renews His Parish (chrp) retreat. I asked God to please put her at my table, so I would at least know someone there. Being new to the parish, I knew no one (boy how that has changed! lol) and He did! Carol and I clicked over the next six months. Our friendship grew by leaps and bounds and for those who know me, they'll tell you, that the greatest gift I got out of the chrp weekend, was my Carol. Our families are not families by blood. We're better than that. We celebrate holiday's together (all of them!) We hang out together, we share just about everything. My kids are her kids, and her kids are mine. We parent the same way (which is hard to find someone who parents like you). Carol will be the first to tell you how I take care of her. And, I'll be the first to tell you how she walks on water both ways and how once, just once, I saw her levitate lol. She is my big sister. She listens to my incessant whining (which doesn't happen all that often). She'll tell me when I'm wrong and George is right (I really hate that lol) and she loves me unconditionally (as do all of my friends). You don't have to be related by blood to be family. She and I, we're sisters.
Her kids are amazing. All four of them. So, having the opportunity to spend five full days with them and my kids, I was excited. For a short while, I'm going to have my big family! It has been absolutely wonderful! The older kids look after the younger kids, they play, hang out and generally have a good time. It's too hot to go anywhere (although today, we're going bowling!) I have enjoyed every minute of it. I joked, that this is what my friend Suzanne must feel like. She has 8 kids I think (sorry, Suzanne if I forgot one!) It has been wonderful. But, I'm tired! lol I said the same thing when we got my puppy Ignatius (Iggy for short). God gave me a puppy because I'm too old to do a baby. This house training thing is going to be the death of me. Yes, Ignatius does his business outside. But, he also holds 'meetings' inside too!
I have many friends who cannot have children for one reason or another. And, I can empathize. When I was dealing with my issues of not having anymore children, people would say God has a plan. People say that a lot. They said it each time George lost his job. They said it over my baby situation. They say it all the time. It got to the point that if I heard it one more time, I was going to scream. I didn't want God's plan and most of the time, I still don't. I wanted Him to do things my way. Clearly, He knows better. I'm not as young as I use to be. Don't get me wrong, I love, LOVE being in my 40's. I love the freeing that comes with it. The 'I'm to old for this crap' and 'I don't care if you like me or not' attitude. That's not to say that I don't care about things anymore, it's more of I don't care about all the little crappy stuff. It's awesome.
But, as I said before, God is smarter than me. I can look back and see that three kids is the perfect amount for me. I get to live vicariously through my friends as they have babies and have their big families. And, that's okay with me. After all, it may not be the way I want it, or the way I think it should be, but in the end, God has a plan. lol
Until next time,
Pray for safe travel for my Carol and Brian as they come home tomorrow
Love
Me
Being born and raised in my family, I was the middle child. Or in Star Trek terms, two of three. I felt cheated. Mema had six kids (my mom was two of six), Mema came from something like 9. My grandpa came from something of like 13. I wanted to be from a big family. That didn't happen. So, I thought I would make my own! Nope. No such luck. I have three.
After Sarah was born things happened and I could no longer have children. This is something I've struggled with greatly over the years. And, I mean struggled. I so wanted to have more children. I so wanted to have more children with my husband. To go through pregnancy with him. I wanted it more than anything. When we were in Kansas, we had the opportunity for this dream to come true. But, when George lost his job, there went that chance. When we moved to Texas 7 years ago we looked into it extensively. But it wasn't in the cards. We even looked at foster adopt, but that wasn't in the cards either.
Two years ago, I finally forgave myself. It was twelve years in the making. But I finally did. I told God, if I can't have anymore children, please take away this longing. And, boy did He! Almost immediately after this, one of my best friends got pregnant (surprise!) and she was afraid to tell me. She thought I'd be upset b/c I couldn't have anymore. It was quite the opposite. I was so happy for her. I became cool aunt Gina to the baby to be. I spoiled her even while she was in the tummy. She's almost one now. She's amazing and she knows who I am, even if I don't see her as often as I'd like. But when she sees me and hears my voice, her whole face lights up and she smiles and makes me feel amazing.
The past five days, I've had the opportunity to have my wish come true. No, I'm not pregnant. My Carol and Brian are on their second honeymoon in Canada. Which means for me, I get her kids. All four of them! For those of you who don't know, our families met in 2004 at St. Jude's at a Marriage in the Movies class. Carol and I found out we were both going to the upcoming Christ Renews His Parish (chrp) retreat. I asked God to please put her at my table, so I would at least know someone there. Being new to the parish, I knew no one (boy how that has changed! lol) and He did! Carol and I clicked over the next six months. Our friendship grew by leaps and bounds and for those who know me, they'll tell you, that the greatest gift I got out of the chrp weekend, was my Carol. Our families are not families by blood. We're better than that. We celebrate holiday's together (all of them!) We hang out together, we share just about everything. My kids are her kids, and her kids are mine. We parent the same way (which is hard to find someone who parents like you). Carol will be the first to tell you how I take care of her. And, I'll be the first to tell you how she walks on water both ways and how once, just once, I saw her levitate lol. She is my big sister. She listens to my incessant whining (which doesn't happen all that often). She'll tell me when I'm wrong and George is right (I really hate that lol) and she loves me unconditionally (as do all of my friends). You don't have to be related by blood to be family. She and I, we're sisters.
Her kids are amazing. All four of them. So, having the opportunity to spend five full days with them and my kids, I was excited. For a short while, I'm going to have my big family! It has been absolutely wonderful! The older kids look after the younger kids, they play, hang out and generally have a good time. It's too hot to go anywhere (although today, we're going bowling!) I have enjoyed every minute of it. I joked, that this is what my friend Suzanne must feel like. She has 8 kids I think (sorry, Suzanne if I forgot one!) It has been wonderful. But, I'm tired! lol I said the same thing when we got my puppy Ignatius (Iggy for short). God gave me a puppy because I'm too old to do a baby. This house training thing is going to be the death of me. Yes, Ignatius does his business outside. But, he also holds 'meetings' inside too!
I have many friends who cannot have children for one reason or another. And, I can empathize. When I was dealing with my issues of not having anymore children, people would say God has a plan. People say that a lot. They said it each time George lost his job. They said it over my baby situation. They say it all the time. It got to the point that if I heard it one more time, I was going to scream. I didn't want God's plan and most of the time, I still don't. I wanted Him to do things my way. Clearly, He knows better. I'm not as young as I use to be. Don't get me wrong, I love, LOVE being in my 40's. I love the freeing that comes with it. The 'I'm to old for this crap' and 'I don't care if you like me or not' attitude. That's not to say that I don't care about things anymore, it's more of I don't care about all the little crappy stuff. It's awesome.
But, as I said before, God is smarter than me. I can look back and see that three kids is the perfect amount for me. I get to live vicariously through my friends as they have babies and have their big families. And, that's okay with me. After all, it may not be the way I want it, or the way I think it should be, but in the end, God has a plan. lol
Until next time,
Pray for safe travel for my Carol and Brian as they come home tomorrow
Love
Me
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