Wednesday, November 24, 2010

As if I haven't been yelling from the rooftops enough...DAD IS HERE!!!! lol  I love having Dad here.  He has fun with the kids and then time with George and I and time with everyone.  There is such a level of comfort where we don't have to fill the silence.  We can just be.  I love his smile and hearing him laugh.

Today, however, took a turn for the weird.  A friend of mine, a wonderful woman passed away yesterday, Rose.  You might know her.  I didn't know her very well.  But, she was in my book study and she was an amazing, lively woman.  Today, was her viewing.  My podmate, Julie, and I went together.  Which in and of itself is a great thing.  Whenever any combination of the pod get together, it's awesome.  But, I digress.  Jules and I were walking into the funeral home and as the gentleman directed us down the hall to where the viewing was.  I told Jules that this was the first time since Mom's funeral that I was in a funeral home.  I felt like I was walking into a wall.  The air was thick and it was difficult, but I went.  We said a rosary for our friend and then went up to pay our respects.  Funny thing is...while I was there for Rose, I was back at Mom's funeral.  I was standing in front of her coffin begging her to wake up.   Walking up to Roses' coffin, she looked so beautiful and I was so glad that I went.  But the rest of the day...the rest of the day was different.  It's not like I don't think of Mom just about everyday.  But today, today with Roses' funeral and the flashback and everything I have been missing Mom something terrible.  And, I'm irritated, torqued off really, that she left me.  Maybe, it's that in 25 days, it will be two years since Mom left me.  I don't know.  Plus, with the loss of Mema so fresh, my heart can only take so much.  So, tonight I'm not just blue, I'm heartbroken.  And, I know that come the morning, I will be okay again....until the next time.

Until next time,
Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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