Sunday, January 21, 2018

Happy Birthday!

For those of us who have lost a love one, some days it feels like yesterday and others it feels like a lifetime.  I wonder if that's what heaven is like, when a thousand years is like one day and one day is like a thousand years.  I woke up excited this morning as tomorrow is my daughters 22nd birthday.  Then, it dawned on me.  I confirmed with Big Daddy, today is Mom' birthday.  Not just that, but it's her tenth birthday in heaven.  I miss my Mother-in-love more than I can explain. 

I miss talking with her every week.
I miss hearing her voice.
I miss making her laugh.  I think I miss that one most of all.
She was so easy to make laugh.  Not one of those 'I'm humoring you' laugh', but an honest-to-goodness laugh. 

My time with her was so very short, only 9 years.  That's not a lot of time.  I was lamenting to Big Daddy this morning on how much I have missed out with her.  How many hugs.  How many conversations.  How many laughs?  What would our relationship be like now?  She genuinely liked me.  Loved me.  Not because I was her daughter-in-love, not because I gave her three grandchildren, but because of who I am.  Just me.  Perfectly imperfect me.  This is a huge deal for me, because when you grow up with one of the people who is suppose to love you unconditionally, doesn't, it's surprising when people actually do.  When you grow up with that deficit, it causes you to think that people only like you because you're friends with so-and-so, not because you're your own amazingly, wonderfully, eccentric self.  Mom did that for me.  She loved me warts and all.  She (and Dad) accepted a low self-esteem, domestic abuse survivor, with three tiny children with open arms.  She (aside from my own amazing Mom and Mema) is one of the greatest women I have had the blessing of knowing.

Happy birthday, Mom.  Have a great day and share a birthday shot with Jesus for me.  I love you and miss you!

Until next time,
Let's go EAGLES!

Love,
Me

Saturday, January 6, 2018

One down, 51 to go!

The first week of the new year is complete.  I worked on getting better (and by worked, I mean, took my medicine, went to work, and slept) and kept a few of my goals that I set for myself!  The great thing about life is I have 24 hours everyday to try it again!

Flossed daily?  Nope, but I used my water pic once!
Extra time for prayer?  Once.
Got up earlier?  Nope.
Went to bed earlier?  Nope.
Ate better?  Yes!  I made conscience decisions about what I was putting in my body.  Don't freak out, it's not like I'm all "Kale is life!" It was more, "Peanuts are a better choice than potato chips". 
No drama?  Yes!
Stay positive?  Not as much as I hoped, but better than none at all. 
Avoid negativity?  Mostly!  I removed negative people and content from my social media as much as I could (stuff pops up every now and again).
Be kinder to myself?  Nope.  But, I wasn't as negative to myself as I usually am.

But, like one of my favorite sayings go "If you don't like where you are, move, you are not a tree."  I am not a tree.  So, like I said, every day is a new chance!  So, that's what I plan on doing :)

What is working for me this week?  I'm feeling wonderful, minus the getting better part from being sick.  My energy level normal thanks to thriving!  Like I said before, I cannot imagine how worse my cold would have been if I wasn't thriving!  And, I'm so exited for what the year is going to bring!  Each day is so full of love and promise!

So, I sit here this morning, watching one of my favorite bad Christmas movies (the 12 dates of Christmas), enjoying the smell of my Christmas tree, enjoying the quiet time, enjoying my life.  If I could give you all one present this week, it would be to realize you are enough.  You are lovely just the way you are, warts and all.  Remember, you are amazing!

Until next time,
Give someone a smile.  Yours is amazing!

Love,
Me

Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy New Year!

I started 2018 by bringing with me some things from 2017.  Namely, my grit, spunk, determination, and good Lord help me, this cough! lol

Today has been a lovely day!  I've enjoyed so much.  I chatted with my mom, my sister, and my daughters.  I spent a bunch of time with Big Daddy, and the only side effect from the new medicine is being light headed now and again.  Trust me, that's a lot better than the side effects from the other medicine!  I've officially been sick a week.  I was at work last Tuesday and at the end of the day, was working some overtime at home.  I finally clocked out at 7 because I was spent.  Then, an hour later, my fever spiked to 102.8.  And, that my friends is when I called in to work.  For two days, I slept, fought the side effects of the wrong meds, and hardly ate, although I drank water like a camel. lol  Since Friday, when I started better medicine, I still slept, but my appetite has slowly returned.  And, I'm feeling better.  Big Daddy says I have my color back!  On the plus side, I lost 3 pounds! Hey, I'll take it!

I spent the day today getting crap off my facebook feed.  There's was so much negativity that I just unsubscribed to it all.  That's not me and I don't need to see any negativity.  Oh, I know it exists, mind you.  I just don't need to be party to it.

Now, I'm just about ready for work tomorrow.  Truth be told, I really loved my time off, even though I've been so sick and sleeping tons.  But, I am ready.  I'm ready to face the day, week, month, year.  Let's do this!

Happy New Year, everyone!
Until next time,
I pray you all have a blessed year!
Love,
Me


Sunday, December 31, 2017

The Closing of the Year

Being sick the last few days of the year has had  me feeling rather maudlin.  I miss my mother something fierce this time of year.  Mind you, she's alive and well, and living in Myrtle Beach.  And, I did get to spend time with her in July as well as talk to her all the time.  Still, I miss her.  In addition, I miss my Dad.  He wasn't able to come down for Thanksgiving this year.  And, as wonderful as the day was, it just wasn't the same without him.

This Advent season flew by too fast.  I didn't do any of the things I had planned.  Not a one.  I started coming down on myself, per usual.  Then, something changed, clicked if you will.  Yes, I did not get anything I wanted to do started, let alone finished.  But that doesn't make me a bad person. I've been trying to focus on that.  And, while I've been sleeping a ton, the last two days I am up more (thanks to the new medicine) and am feeling loads better.  Not well enough to go to Mass today or to my sisters for our annual NYE celebration.  These things are important to me.  And, here I sit, in my bed, feeling a little sorry for myself.  My faith is important to me.  I wanted to go to Mass.  So, while Big Daddy was at Mass, I watched the Mass on my Laudate app.  That helped me feel connected.  Afterwards, I called my sister and chatted for a bit.  Just hearing her made me feel better.  

2017 was a busy year:
I became full time at my job.
I celebrated a year at my job.
I started in a new department in my job.
I started working from home 4 days a week.
I grew closer to friends and distant with others.
I left a business that wasn't working for me.
I started with an amazing company that supports me.
I learned how to eat better.
I learned how to meal prep.
I lost 20 pounds!
I lost 4 PANT SIZES!!!!
I took a vacation with just Big Daddy.
I renewed my vows (twice!)
I took a family vacation.
I started going live.
I created 'Live with Thrive'.
I made new friends.
I had medical procedures.
I leaned I have a new 'for now' normal.
I cried.
I rejoiced.
I shared.
Most importantly, I loved.

For 2018 I am leaving behind self doubt and negativity.  I'm not going to wait until I reach a goal to be proud of myself.  I'm going to be proud of myself the whole way!  I'm going to celebrate.  And, most importantly, I am going to love.

I wish you all the Happiest of New Years and that the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding will be yours this year.

Until next time,
Please call a cab/Uber/Lyft!  Don't drink and drive!
Love,
Me

Thursday, October 19, 2017

I'm THRIVING!

So, for those of you who don't know, I recently started a new adventure and I couldn't be happier.  AND it only get's better!  I was featured on the official LE-VEL FAN PAGE!!!!!

My name is Gina Marie Schafer, and this is my Thrive Experience.
I'm a 48 year old mom of three adult children (23, 21, and 20) and my adorable grandtwins who are about to be 2, CJ and Justin and married to my amazing husband, George!
I've been Thriving officially for 8 weeks! I watched my friend Sheila post about Thrive time and time again. I watched Sheila's posts talk about mental clarity among other things so, I said 'let's do this' and contacted Sheila.
Truth be told, I was a little nervous. Would I be jittery? Would I feel like I was going to burst out of my skin? Happily, the answer was "no.” I'm an all day person (versus being a night or morning person), however, by the time I get home at 4:00 I'm exhausted and ready to be a couch potato. That did not happen! I came home and was doing laundry, not only that, I FOLDED and PUT IT AWAY!!! Who does that?!!! Not me, that's for sure! lol All I drink now is water, it's all I want these days. My favorite thing has to be the mental clarity! I heard about it, but didn't know what to expect. It's not like the clouds part and angles sing and all of a sudden I have an IQ of 170. No, this is SO MUCH BETTER! I didn't realize I had mental fog until it was gone! I can focus a lot easier now!
I haven't even mentioned how I get up before the opportunity clock goes off, how my stress is just about gone...how I'm able to better focus and handle a situation with less emotional stress, and how my energy level is through the roof!
I can't thank Le-Vel and Thrive enough for giving me, 'me' back!

Saturday, August 5, 2017

The Thing About Cisterns

Over the course of the last few months I've really taken the ten commandments to heart.  Specifically, the not killing one.  If it weren't for spending eternity away from Jesus, in hell, with a lot of people I've avoided during my life, sweating, quite a few people would not be here.

As most of you know, if you are my friend, I love you unconditionally.  You hurt, I hurt.  Then, I want to hurt the people who hurt you.  But, I don't (see paragraph above).  Over the past few months, a few people I love were the victims of mean people.  And, while murder isn't an option, what's a girl to do?  We'll, I did some biblical thinking (rare I know).  And, what came to me were cisterns!  I was so excited!  See, Joseph's brothers didn't like him very much.  So, basically, they threw him in a cistern and went on their merry way.  They didn't kill him.  So, for the past few months I've joked around "we should buy a cistern!" "You can get cisterns on Amazon!" "Another person for the cistern!".  Then last week, God in His infinite wisdom reminded me of the rest of the story.

In case you don't remember, Joseph ends up becoming the rulers right hand man (so to speak) and in the end, he reunites with his brothers, holds no grudge, and tells them basically, what they meant for bad, God used for good.  So, if I get a cistern, dump all these people in it (I'm up to 3 now) then with my luck they'll form a singing group, will be rescued because some record producer heard their sound, and make a gazillion dollars.  So, no cisterns.

What then, is a wearing her heart on her sleeve, let me help you with the vengeance God, my friends/family have been wronged and must be avenged girl to do?  Pray.  Pray for these people (that they stay far away from me lol j/k not really).  Pray for their happiness.  That's a hard one.  Pray for God to soften their hearts.  And, even mine too.

So, as fun as it was to imagine throwing people in the Cisterns, that's the problem with them.  What I was using for bad, God will use for good.

Until next time, pray for those who persecute you (and everyone else).

Love,
Me.
Joseph, you are truly missed.  Thank you for being a part of my life.  I am blessed to have known you as shared so many memories with you.  Thank you for giving me your family.


Thursday, July 28, 2016

Abide With Me.

I knew it was a while since I last posted, but almost a year?  Wow, that was a bit shocking.  I promise, I won't stay away so long again.

For as much as things have changed this past year they have stayed the same.  My weight (ugh), my patience (or lack thereof), and my heart (still loves deeply).  I spent the last year letting go.  I let go of familial relationships that only serve to hurt me.  That have never built me up.  I finally had enough of chasing parked cars, of wishing things were different.  I was tired of the phone only going one way.  I finally said to myself that I matter and just because I was born into this group of people does not mean I have to stay there.  That I can choose me.  So, I did.  At first, it was jarring, the day after Christmas when I realized the card never came.  Then again, after my birthday this year when I realized the same thing.  And you know what?  I'm still here.  I still matter and while slightly hurt, I am happy.  They say God provides what you need and boy does He, in big ways.  While I don't have the familial relationships (except for my Mom, God bless my Mom), He gave me a Dad in my father-in-love.  I have had the pleasure of knowing him for 18 years and being his daughter-in-law for 16 (in October).  After going through Christ Renews His Parish 12 years ago, He gave me a big sister in my Carol.  My bunco group (the Happy, Hugging, Holy Bunco Group thank you) are my family.  Sometimes we argue (with that many women, it happens.  Rarely, but it happens) but we protect, love, and serve each other.  We fight fiercely for each other and woe to the person who hurts one in our group!  And, my OLA sisters.  I spent the last nine months with these women.  And I love them all.  There is an unexplained bonding that happens when you spend nine months with someone let alone 20 women.  These women are more than  church friends, they are my heart.

Sure, sometimes I get jealous when I see a familial bond that I don't have, but at the same time, I know God has provided more family for me than I could ever have hoped.

My baby boy grew up this spring.  He has a great job, a lovely girlfriend, and a place of their own.  It happened rather unexpectedly, the moving out.  I was unprepared.  It hurt.  A lot.  But watching him grow and mature has been a joy to watch.

I no longer have kids in high school.  My two girls are in college and living at home.  I'm okay with that.  I like to tell them "I can't miss you if you never leave" but I am happy they are still here.  They'll leave when they're ready and I'm okay with that.

Big Daddy as always is my rock.  Loving someone with anxiety, panic, depression, and low self esteem isn't easy but he sure makes it look like it is.  He is such a great source of support.  He takes such good care of our family and is truly a gift from God.

I love that no matter how I change, the people that God has blessed me with, stay.  They love me even at my most unlovable times.  That, people, is love.  The forgive me, they mentor me, they challenge me, they guide me.  They abide with me.  And I, with them.





I am #oneblessedgirl.
Love,
Me