Movies, Music, and My Mama

 Did you ever see the movie Babe?  It's a fabulous movie about a pig.  There's a scene in the when Babe says in a sad tone "I want my mum".  I've said that a lot over the years.  Although we talked almost every day, sometimes I just wanted a hug from her.  She made everything better.  It's been eighteen days since my Mama passed and I feel quite hollow.  I get up every day and do my daily routine.  Awake, pee, brush teeth, wash face, let Iggy out, get Big Daddy set for work.  The rest of my day is filled with the mundane; grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, et al.  I abhor laundry more than any other task.  It's the putting it all away for me.  I don't know why. 

There's an old movie I loved as a kid, Little Lord Fauntleroy.  It's a movie about a boy (Ricky Schroeder) and stars Alec Guinness.  SPOILER ALERT!!!!  At the end of the movie, Ricky Schroeder's Mom comes out from behind the Christmas tree.  Ever since we moved away from being local to my Mama 23 years ago, my wish was that she would come out from behind my Christmas tree each year.  It didn't happen and each year I would say 'next year'!  The last few years as my Mama's health became more challenging, I knew it would never happen, but I still wished she would surprise me.  The reality of that dream being no longer possible greatly saddens me.

My Mama and I connected on so many levels, not just movies (we loved Funny Girl and very bad B movies, They Call Me Bruce, and Rhinestone) but music.  We had two songs that were wholly ours:  I Just Called to Say I Love You as well as You and Me Against the World.  I grew up listening to my Mama sing everything from Helen Ready, Captain & Tennille, to opera.  Some of my very favorite memories as a teenager was playing the piano while my Mama or my sister would sing.  

While movies and music are wonderful, the best gift my Mama gave me was my faith.  As a cradle Catholic, I grew up getting the sacraments and went to church every Sunday.  While I didn't understand the why of it as a child, I knew it as it's just what we did.  We didn't talk a lot about Jesus and faith while I was growing up.  Rather, it was quietly instilled.  We prayed before every meal, we were taught to say our prayers, and my Mama let me know if ever I needed anything, Jesus was there.  I would talk to God, but really didn't listen for an answer, just talk.  As I became older, and I'd like to think somewhat wiser, we had more talks about faith, Jesus, and the Saints.  I still talk to Jesus and even pause to listen for His voice sometimes lol

While I miss my Mama so much, sometimes it's hard to breathe, my faith, the faith that she instilled in me continues and will continue to sustain me.

 Until next time, know I am praying for your intentions.

Love,

Me