Saturday, February 28, 2015

Of Music, Spock, and Wonder Woman.

Yes.  I know it's been six months.  I'm truly sorry.  I'll be better.  That said, grab your drink of choice (lately mine is water) and let's begin.

As some of you know, my early years weren't the best.  Heck, some of my older years weren't that great either but I digress.  From about sixth grade throughout graduation I didn't have many friends.  Actual 'come over, let's hang out' friends.  I was different and I was weird.  As a teen girl this isn't great.  Now, (well it took me to my mid thirties actually) I embrace it fully.  My friends were Joe, Natalie, Tootie and Blair, Mallory and Michael Keaton and of course most (obviously,not all) of the residence of Pine Valley, PA.  Erica, Mona and dear Aunt Phoebe, Greg and Jenny, just to name a few.

These people/characters became my friends and teachers.  They are the ones who liked me unconditionally. They came into my home every week.  They taught  how to be a friend that, goofy and different were okay, and that no matter how good you try to be, sometimes you just do stupid things so you learn from them and move on.  My husband understands this part of me.  So much so that one day about 10 years ago, he called from work to tell me to log on to the computer because he just couldn't break the news to me.  It was the day Aunt Phoebe died.  I cried.  Yes, I know that to you they're just fictional characters, but Ruth Warrick (of Citizen Kane) exuded class and love and she and I had been my "aunt' 35 years.

Yesterday was similar to that.  Another dear friend, a mentor, passed.  Leonard Nemoy passed away.  Spock was a great role model for anyone but especially for me.  We have many similarities.  We're both 'different' than what the norm suggests we be.  We are both strong willed.  We are both smart (although I down play mine all the time.  I still don't know why at 45 1/2 I still do that).  We both had to learn about grey.  That life isn't just black and white.  That somethings really are 'illogical' and we just have to accept that.  I was so sad I texted a friend "I feel like Khan has won".

I was a nerd but not the ones that are now cool.  I had a love hate relationship with math.  I was good at math but school bored me.  I wasn't in to comics.  Sure, I loved the superheros and cartoons, but music was and still is my passion.  I grew up in a house full of music.  Anything from the 20's and up. I fell in love with my mom's 50's and 60's music (can anyone say 'wolfman Jack?!)  My sister was the 70's.  My dad was big band all the way.  Mema was Croation music on Sunday's and 40's and below any other day.  I loved it all.  How many sixth graders can say their first concert was Sha-Na-Na!  And, you see my point.  Nerd.  No friends, only tv and music.  However, I was okay with that.  I didn't know till junior high how weird I truly was.  At the end of the day, it didn't matter.  I would go home to music and my tv friends.

It took a long time, but finally real people friends came into my life.  My senior year in high school, I met Joyce and Sherri, we've been best friends to this day.  It was just them for the longest time.  Then, over a decade ago, God placed my family at St. Jude's church where I met the loves of my life (Big Daddy will always be the greatest love of my life after God of course).  He also blessed me with friends through different jobs I've held (Sarah K, Rob S., Will H.  Chris McD, Mandy, Shortie, my podmate Jules, my bunco group) to name a few).  While I don't see all of these people very often, we stay in touch and get together whenever possible.  These real friendships mean everything to me.  I have Sally Field moments often when after a particular get together I realize they like me.  They really like me.  Not just that, they love me.  For a nerdy girl with only tv and music for friends, this constantly amazes me and something I never take for granted.  Big Daddy says he doesn't understand why I am amazed at how people like/love me.  He'll never understand because he was never me.  I tell him I'm amazed every day I wake up and realize he is not running for the hills.  I never said I was perfect, I said I was me.

Aisha Tyler (who is someone I just adore and look up to and who would totally be my friend in real life if she ever had the pleasure of meeting me) has a book called Self-Inflicted Wounds.  It's about epic humiliations we ended up doing to ourselves.  My whole life is moments like that, but then again, whose isn't?

At my current job, I work with people who have comic nicknames (Batman and Night wing are just two).  So a few weeks ago, I took on the moniker of Wonder Woman.  I thought "Hey, Wonder Woman is awesome.  I am awesome.  She's Amazonian, I shop of Amazon.  lol.  Actually, I took stock at all the crap I've over come.  At the walking miracle I am (dude, you just don't outgrow Epilepsy and not have to take medicine for the rest of your life.  I did among other things) and decided 'yup, I am a wonder.  I am woman.  Hear me roar.".

So to all the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies and dickheads-I think you're all righteous dudes.

Until next time,
Live long and Prosper and remember I'm here if you need me.  Always.