Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Red Suitcase

So, I'm on one of my many daily calls to Tina (Myers. I know *way* too many Tina's lol) and she was going out with her youngest, Nathan, 3 to the bus stop to pick up Adriana and Phillip (11 and 42. Okay, he's not 42. I think he's 6.). They get outside only to turn back because Nathan forgot his red suitcase. Nathan goes nowhere without it. Tina commented on the beautiful weather and how as long as Nathan has his red suitcase all is well. She said if only life were that simple.

Then, I, channeling the Holy Spirit b/c I'm so not this profound, said "It is that simple. We all have our own red suitcases. It is different for everyone."

So, here's my question to all of you..."What is your red suitcase?" It can change on a weekly basis. That's okay. As of late, my red suitcase is my cell phone. Specifically the mp3 player on my cell phone. I listen to it at work (not while I'm serving people of course). I've got homilies on it, I've got christian music on it, I've got rock music on it. I've got the rosary on it, in Spanish! The mp3 is my escape. My exit strategy when work goes awry. I plug in and tune out of the crap and tune into my tunes.

What's your red suitcase?

Until next time...
Remember God loves you and so do I :)

Monday, September 29, 2008

I can't be the only one...

Okay...I love my kids. I'd give my life for them. I adore them. They are amazing creatures. But then, there are days where they are just creatures.

I cannot be the only one this happens to. Today has been an exceptionally creepy day in kidville. James stayed home 'sick'. But yet he was fine enough to watch tv, but not do the dishes. Hmmmm. Maria, she's okay today. Sarah, "MomcanIcallMegansheemailedmedidyouseetheemailIsentyouguesswhathappenedatschooltoday?" The child needs to breathe. It is days like today that I miss my xanex. Okay, so I'm pmsing and that makes things TONS worse. This I am aware of. But is five minutes to myself that much to ask for? You know it's bad when they knock on the bathroom door to come in and talk to me and my response is "You can come in if you plan on wiping me. You've gotta learn for when I'm living with you." That keeps them at bay at least for three minutes. This works if I'm just hiding in my bathroom with a magazine, a beer, or the remnants of my sanity.

I love my kids, but seriously, how do you guys survive those moments? Tonight I am surviving by eating gobbs and gobbs of Dove Dark chocolate (five pieces are five points on weight watchers) (I think I used up my weekly allotted points on chocolate alone tonight, lol).

Remember, we're in this together. I remind myself that you guys have kids. I know your kids. I've seen you with your kids. I know you have days like today. Please pray for my kids. Then, pray for my sanity.

Until next time,
Have some of my Dove Dark Chocolate now while I'm sharing. These, I share. My chocolate raspberry milano cookies and my Carol I do not share.


Road Rage, Weaning, and Idiots

So, I'm driving to work this morning. I am awake. I am alert. I am convinced the vast majority of the people who drive in my vicinity are none of these things. It happens everyday. Some days on the way to work, some days on the way home. I get behind the 'I'm not up yet person' or the 'I'm too tired to drive home' person. If you're not up yet, or too tired to drive...DON'T!!! Inevitably I do two things when I am stuck behind your slow moving vehicle. First, I yell "It's the bleepin' pedal on the right!" Then, I say a Hail Mary for them and me simultaneously. Rage first. Prayer second. lol. I know. I know. It's not very christian of me. I should think of them and their situation. Maybe they worked the night shift only to get a couple hours sleep to turn around and start their day job. Sadly, I am human and think that's not my problem. I was tossing and turning last night. Yet, I get up for my job. Do the speed limit (God bless cruise control) and am alert on my way to work. Is it that hard for people to press the pedal on the right? Apparently so.

This is officially week three of the weaning off the meds. I notice I'm feel a little anxious. Here's the fun part. Is it actual anxiety or is it me making myself anxious because I'm anxious about getting off the meds? Therein lies the rub.

I found a saying on facebook yesterday....people who say there's no such thing as a stupid question never worked in customer service. Case in point. Last week I made taco salads at work. There is a sign saying "Taco Salad" and the price. There's also a display of the taco salad for all to see. Still some idiot comes by and I kid you not, says "are they *tacos* or taco salad?" Resisting the urge to be a smart alec at work, I tell her that they are taco *salads*. Then, I go in the back to tell the others about the idiot. Most of the questions I get make sense. "what kind of cheese is that?" Gruyere. "I'll have the spinach" as they point to the arrugala. I explain it's arrugala. Then I get "what's arrugala". Again, trying not to be a smart alec...Steve Martin from My Blue Heaven goes through my head..."It's a vegetable". Today, I had a greek flatbread salad. Someone points to the diced SALAMI and asks "Is that SALMON?!" I tell them no, it's salami. Yea, they don't pay me enough!

But, I make my own enjoyment. There's Randy, the braid guy who comes by everyday to ask for a porkchop sandwich, knowing full well I do salads, just to make me smile. There's Richard the 50ish guy who comes by with a smile and get's a salad just about every day. There's Liz who comes by once a week to tell me what movies she's seen and discuss with me. There's Denise the pastor who comes by to check on me. Everytime she comes by the only way I remember her name (I keep wanting to call her Debbie) is to play a scene in my head from Runaway Bride. Next up Denise and Denephews. lol. There's Rodger the tall lanky guy who comes by every day to see how I'm doing. There's a host of others whose names I haven't learned yet, but they come through my line and make me smile and I do the same for them. My job is to make their day a little bit brighter. Cue the Brady Bunch "we can make the world a whole lot brighter...."

I know I have bad days. Especially, when I'm pmsing. I know there are days when my coworkers drive me BATTY (as I'm sure I do them). But it's being in front of the customers that make me happy.

For Julie, I love you!

Until next time, have a cookie, any cookie. Eat it slowly and smile.

PS. I talked to my father yesterday. He heard from my brother, Joey. He's alive and okay! PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSING FLOW!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


If you could have a superpower, what would you choose?

Flying would be cool. But I have no coordination and would probably fly into stuff.
ESP would be awesome. But with all the noise already in my head, I don't know if I would be able to hear, lol.
X-ray vision. Boring. I don't need to see into stuff. Well, the oven, but there's a little switch on the stove that turns a light on inside the oven, so that's a no on the x-ray.
Invisibility. That would be way cool. Do you guys remember the tv show Soap? One of the BEST TV SHOWS EVER! Anywho, Burt would snap his fingers and say "I'm invisible". Now, everyone could see him, but he didn't realize this which made it all the more funny. Invisibility might be cool.

Last night, I gave my faith share for the St. Mark's group. It was hard. I cried most of the way through it. Then, after work, I come home to this in my inbox. That Kim. She's something. Invisibility, huh. Might be a way to go.

Until next time,
May you laugh so much tonight, that tomorrow you have a tummy ache.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Carol, signs, and Evan Almighty

Lets back up here. Tina and I went out Friday. We try to go out once a month with the people from work. We go dancing. I LOVE to dance. George and Mike (Tina's hubby) not so much. We go as a group and unwind from the week (or weeks or months depending upon the celebration). This Friday, we were celebrating a birthday from work, and the fact that I am in the process of weaning off of my meds. As usual, we had a FABULOUS time.

Yesterday was the carnival. I was psyched. I was going to work it for 2 hours, sing, and then wander. The day started with an email from my Carol. The woman is insightful, I'll give her that. She was commenting on one of my blogs and said something that was so very profound to me. Carol, I hope you don't mind, but I'm sharing it anyway! lol For those of you who don't know, Carol Schafer is my Mother in law. My Mom. She said...

See Gina it took a little more time but your sneakers are on and you are walking the road to living and laughing just like Carol Schafer would want you to do. Have a great day see you soon!
Love always
Your sis

As usual, she's right. The email made me smile, so off to the carnival I went. After some initial confusion on where I was suppose to be, I got to work the baseball toss! Lot's of fun. I had to use my skills to get kids to play baseball instead of the cake wall. Who needs cake when you can have an orange, smiley face, stress ball!!!! lol but the kids did come, and it was awesome. Another highlight for me was seeing my friends whom I haven't seen since I started working. Usually, I'm the one to go up to someone to say hello. But yesterday, that wasn't the case. I kept hearing my name and people were calling me to say hello. It was such a great feeling! I got to see Agatha, Amy, Amanda, Carmen, Shannon, and Tammy among others. One of the highlights of the carnival was singing with Katie and the band. Anytime I can sing praise and worship songs, it's a great day. And the coolest part was when we were singing, I was looking out directly at our church. The sky was the most awesome blue, the clouds were fluffy and adorning the top of the church, and I was singing to my Dad. What could be better? Another cool thing about singing yesterday was watching my family. The girls and George watched us sing for a while. Then, Sarah had to go to a softball scrimmage. But there was Maria, walking by and waving. I felt loved. James? He was busy jousting. But he's heard me sing TONS. lol

After singing, I was just wandering around. It was the first time in a very long time, that I've felt okay. I felt like me. I realized that Carol was right (as usual, SHEESH!). I made it. I made it through the valley of the shadow of death literally. And, not only did His rod and staff give me comfort, but He gave me help. He gave me others to help me carry that awesomely heavy cross.

This morning, I watched the end of Evan Almighty (I've seen it tons). And there's this scene at the end, when Evan is talking to God. God was praising Evan for answering the call. Evan said "but I fought you the whole way!" God said "Yes, but you did it." Looking back, I complained the entire walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But, I did it. I came out the other side. Yes, I still miss mom. Yes, there are days when I cry over her, over my great loss. But, yesterday, walking the carnival, the sun shinning (beating down severely at times, lol) a breeze blowing (not fun when your trying to hold the papers for the guitar player, Kevin as we're singing), I felt blessed. I felt blessed by His grace, loved by my church family, and secure in the knowledge that I made it through what was definitely the worst six months of my life. And, that my Mom, Carol, is smiling.

Until next time,
Thank you for being a blessing to me!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Mom's, Death, and the Brady Bunch

Yesterday was the nine month mark for Mom's death. And Myra's Mom's nine month mark is next week.

Sunday, Patti lost her Mom after a very long battle.
Yesterday, Tina lost her Mom.
And Valerie's Mom is preparing for her journey home.

Did you know that all five of us are CRHP V sisters? I bet you guys don't know how close I am to each of these spectacular ladies.

There's a special kind of relationship that you have with your Mom. Your Mom is the first one to know you (after God, of course). She's the one who nourishes you from your conception until her death. Sometimes, our Mom's aren't exactly what we need, and we get that relationship from another woman, and that's perfectly okay. Still the mother/daughter relationship is something special. There is a void that will never, ever be filled. And it takes a while, but eventually you remember how to breathe.

I can remember the moment I remembered how to breathe. It was at the six month mark. I had done nothing but exist. No laundry, no meals. I was a shell of myself. I was deeply depressed. Deeply. My heart was utterly broken. I was upset it was six months already. How could that be!?!!? For me the worst part was the actual physical pain of my heart. Then, Mary, our mother, spoke to me. She said I had a decision to make. I could die of a broken heart, or I could choose to live. I'd love to be able to tell you, I answered right away that I wanted to live. That was not the case. I had to think about it for a little while. And, ultimately, I chose to live.

These wonderful women, these sisters of mine...my family are grieving. The one thing I've learned over these last nine months is that I cannot make it better for anyone. I cannot take their pain away. I cannot lessen it. I can however be there for them as they have always, always, been there for me.

Myra, Patti, Tina, and Val:

I love you all with all that I am. I'm wearing my tennis shoes. Let's walk this road together.

Until next time,
Call your mom, or your mom role model and tell her you love her. Send her a card, make her laugh. Tell her your sorry for the vase you broke playing ball in the house. Oh, wait....that was the Brady Bunch! lol Enjoy your Moms.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008


So, I was a bundle of nerves today. I had the doctors apt today. I asked my friends at work to pray for me. I didn't tell them why, just that I had a doctors apt. I was psyching myself out. What if the doctor said I had to stay on the meds? What if he didn't find me sane enough to get off of them? Technically, I'm not exactly sure how sane I was before the meds or after, lol.

No one could go with me. Usually, I go to the doctors by myself. But for big things, I bring someone. To me, this was a big one. My boss said he'd drive me, which I thought was nice. I told him I could drive, thanked him and told him all will be okay. I dropped the bowls (stainless doesn't break :), I dropped the chicken (yikes), I dropped spoons. I was a dropping MANIAC!!! And, I had two cups of coffee WITH CAFFEINE! That may of had something to do with the dropping, lol. I was also way quiet today. Totally freaked out my co workers. "Why are you so quiet?!!" "Everything is going to be fine!" In fact, one called me this evening to make sure I was okay and said "See, I told you it was all gonna be okay :)!" I love my job!

My favorite though was yesterday when I was talking to my Carol. And she said something that I totally forgot about. It's something that you know in your heart, but sometimes need a reminder. She said "I'll be with you. I'm always with you." I wish all of you could know the Carol that I know. I wish each of you could feel the way Carol makes me feel. The feeling that no matter how bad you screw up, they love you. Don't get me wrong, she yells at me sometimes when I totally deserve it. She tells me like it is. Carol knows me better than anyone (next to George). There is such a comfort in that. When was the last time someone told you "I'll be with you, I'm always with you?" EXACTLY! Why yes, Carol is just short of walking on water. Can't you tell? lol. She has this gift of saying what I need to hear exactly when I need to hear it. She's funny and wise and teaches me stuff all the time. I know you guys didn't think I got this cool on my own! Carol was a big part of it! lol

Today, Tina couldn't come either. But she said, "I'll pray for you at 3:00" And to come over after the doctors either way. How cool is that? I got to spend about an hour with her and two of her kids just having fun. After a day of nerves and dropping things, it was great to unwind with Star Wars Stickers and laughter. Kid laughter is the greatest thing ever. That and the fact that Tina and I have gotten so close. We are known now (at my work) as the Irish Twins. We are so much alike it's uncanny. She makes the most awesome wings-man, awesome, I tell you!

Thank you all for your prayers! I even went to adoration to give up a thank you to dad :) It is so comforting to have all of you with me. To have all the love and prayers and support. There is no way I could have gotten this far without each of you.

Until next time, I wish you pink skies, coronas, and your very own Carol (not mine, get your own, lol)


Monday, September 15, 2008

Prayer Requests

I love this time of year. I love the change in the air. How it becomes thin and light and crisp. I love wearing sweatshirts especially my favorite one. It's big and white and has a christmas tree on it. I got it a couple years ago from the Gaylord Texan when we went to see Ice. But, I digress. I love this time of year.

This morning, as I was driving to work, it was dark. Like serious dark. Axe murderer dark. Well...not axe murderer dark, but definitely don't stop to pick up a hitchhiker dark. Then, leading me my entire way to work was *the most beautiful* full moon you have ever seen. I think that has to be absolutely my most favorite thing about living in Texas. How big the moon is. This moon guided me to work. I couldn't help but stare at it in wonder (don't worry, I didn't crash. I'm a good driver, lol). It made me think of God. How He watches over us. That was really comforting.

Today is a bittersweet day. My dear, dear, friend. My crhp sister, Patti, lost her Mom yesterday. Technically, it was her mother-in-law, but she's as close to her as I am to mine. We knew this day was coming for at least a year. Still, it's hard. We are happy that Barb is now home. Home among, St. Theresé, Blessed Mother Theresa, and Pope John Paul II. We are happy she is at rest. Yet, we are sad that she is no longer with us. Please pray for strength, comfort and peace for the entire Jones family.

In addition to Barb's death, today is a special day. Twelve years ago today, my Grandpa died. He and I were extremely close. He gave me what my father couldn't. He loved me for me. I miss him.

Also, one of my closest friends on the entire planet is leaving for home on Wednesday. Her Mom has been battling cancer and has taken a turn. Please play for safe travel for her and a peaceful death for her Mom.

On the wonderful news front, my dear, dear friend Suzanne's son was given fantastic news as her son Phillip can start maintenance and now go back to school tomorrow!!!

I'd like to send a special thank you out to Julie (BIG THANKS!) God put you where I needed you yesterday. You are such a voice of reason! All is okay :)

And, I'm sure most of you got this already, but if you would please pray for me tomorrow as I have an appointment at 3pm with the doctor to see about getting off my meds and tapering them off. I would love to be off of them.

Please pray for all of those who are so deep in depression, who feel so lost, so hopeless. Pray that they feel the comforting touch of our Father.

Until next time,

Friday, September 12, 2008

It's Early

And I'm sure most of you are getting up. I am leaving for work. Those salads aren't going to make themselves y'know! lol

I wanted to share something with you before I left. I just witnessed something beautiful. Every night before bed, Sarah asks George to wake her in the morning. The woman (she's 11 going on 30) has an alarm clock. But she turns it off. I don't think she understands about the snooze factor. Anywho, as I was heading downstairs this morning, there George is heading into her room to wake her up.

What a cool dad. I'm blessed.

Have a blessed day!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

It dawned on me this afternoon that my day was much like the Indiana Jones movie Temple of Doom. Now, while I don't have a temple, it was definitely a day....not so much full of doom, but of boobie traps. Remember the scene where Indy and Short Round were stuck in the room with all the walls closing in on them b/c they tripped off a trap? You've got them on the inside screaming and Kate Capshaw on the outside who has to stick her hand in this icky hole in the wall full of webs and bugs. But, she pulls it and saves them. That was my day. We all know how clumsy I am...I set off a lot of traps today.

First I wake up late. Not the normal five or ten minutes, try 50! It was of my own accord b/c I kept playing the 5 more minute game and lost BIG TIME! I get dressed, think to myself "I showered yesterday, my hair will be under the worlds goofiest looking beret, no prob." -boobie trap #1

I get to work and I go to plug in my headphones to my cell b/c it has an mp3 on it and I listen to various things, the rosary in spanish, homilies, and music. Turns out, I plugged my phone into the charger, but not the charger into the wall. AHHHHHHHHHHH-boobie trap #2

There is discord at work. This one isn't my fault (yea!). But I am stuck in the middle (booooooo!) I work with a two faced person. She was put in her place by one of my favorite people and now she keeps bugging ME. blah, blah, blah. Tell it to Oprah! I don't want to hear it. She wants me to support her and I can't. She's lazy. She's very nice, don't get me wrong, let's just say she never would've made it in the Army. I haven't mastered the diplomacy of telling someone politely "shut up! You're lazy and wipe the same spot with the windex for 30 minutes!!!" Turns out I have two strikes against me working where I do. First is I'm not Mexican and Second, I don't have a penis. I don't. Really. I checked the other day at work. Apparently, I have cojones, just not the piping. - boobie trap #3

I forgot the fish. Specifically, the salmon. Apparently, you can't have a Caesar salad with chicken or salmon without the salmon. It was a total oversight on my part. I knew before I left work yesterday that I'd need it. However, this morning, apparently I took a detour to blanksville on my way to work. - boobie trap #4

Decided after work to go to adoration! Woohoo! Nuthins better than some Me and Jesus time! Nuthin, I tell ya! So, I sit before Him on the floor with my eyes shut. I'm trying to clear out all the noise coming from inside. Works almost too well. I say to myself "Am I asleep? Another song in my head! Come on! How can I do this quiet thing?" So, I keep repeating a mantra. No, it wasn't 'chocolate, dark chocolate. Give me dark chocolate'. It was come, Lord Jesus come. Which brought the song in my head. So, I shortened it to come, Jesus. Then just Jesus. I was so comfortable, I opened my eyes and it was 20 minutes later. Then, I laid down before Him. Again trying to quiet my soul. I was so at peace I thought I might fall asleep. So, I get up and ten minutes had passed. It was now time to go home.-No boobie trap here :)

Stop for a trim at Pro-cuts. She even charged me the kids price since it was just a trim! Get home. Girls are fighting. Again-boobie trap #5

Go to pick up Jaime from robotics club. Then to Kroger's. One of the girls called me screaming that the other one did something or other. I don't know what. I don't know what b/c I chose to hang up on my daughter. I am in Kroger, fresh from adoration and a cute hair trim. I am not going to yell. Yes, I know this probably makes me a bad mother. But at least I am a bad mother with momentary sanity! Treat myself to some chocolate. Don't judge me, I'm PMSing and we're now on trap #6! I sit in the car and eat my Reeses BIG cup (did I say I was pmsing?) and enjoy every last bite. Not moving the car until it is gone. I rest my head again the rest as I enjoy every morsel of my chocolate and peanut butter. James tries to talk to me, but I put my hand up and stop him. I am having a peanut butter/chocolate zen moment that will not be disturbed.-boobie trap #6

Make it home and George is here!!! YEA!!!! Oh joy! Now all the kids are yelling! We'll let George take this one. I go upstairs to the bedroom and lay on the bed and try to find my happy place. George comes upstairs and just holds me. I instantly feel better. Then, he has to leave for crhp. But, before he leaves, he gives me another hug. He is so tall. I feel so loved when he hugs me! -no boobie trap here :)

So, back to my point about Indiana Jones and my day of dread....there Indy and Short Round are on the inside, walls closing in....Kate pulls the lever. The whole movie is laden with boobie traps just like my day. And then there is God, just like Kate Capshaw (only not so blond I think, lol), He releases the lever. He releases lever after lever after lever. How cool is that? Just when I feel I am going to scream out loud (I scream in my head sometimes. Don't you?) He pulls the lever and releases the pressure. God so ROCKS! I have the coolest Dad EVER (so do you guys!).

Wishing you boobie trap free days and if you can't get that then I wish you quick lever releases!
Until next time,


Tuesday, September 9, 2008


Sometimes we all need a reminder. Sometimes gentle. Sometimes, not so gentle.

Sometimes you have a bad day, or a series of bad days...or weeks, or months, and sadly, even years. Sometimes, we lose site of ourselves. We look for love and acceptance. Sometimes, we run and hide. The thing is, we hide so well we can't find our way out. We lose what is most precious to us, our hope.

My dear friends, there is always hope. Sit back, hit play, and close your eyes.

You are loved. You are never alone.

Until next time,
Remember, when you reach the end of your rope, you will find the hem of His garment.

Monday, September 8, 2008


So, I came back yesterday afternoon from Rockin' C Ranch. It was AMAZING! I am thoroughly exhausted. Tina (Myers) and I decided ahead of time that we were going to be bus buddies. We had a great time on the way up and back. The talks were inspiring. Doreen (whom I adore), Ann P. (who I got to know better), Lisa Howard (how cool is she?!?!?!?), and Tina Scheckel (who is such a rock for me). We also had time to ourselves. I decided I was going to try horseback riding. I say 'try' b/c I've never ridden before. I told my friends that I wanted the 90 year old horse with one foot in the ground. Hopefully, arthritic too! Turns out I got Ben. Ben, who had the most beautiful blue eye you have ever seen. Nolan, the wonderful, very patient, ranch hand help me mount Ben. Seriously, that just sounds so wrong. lol. So, I got up on the horse and started to panic. Carolina (who I just love) was such a rock for me. She was my cheerleader. "Gina you CAN do this!" And, you know what? I DID! Well, for ten minutes anyway. Most of the ten minutes was me sitting still until Ben decided to move. Then it was like shampoo directions...move, panic, stop, repeat. Finally, I got off of the horse. Whew! My legs were shaking for a good 20 minutes afterwards! There was also the rope course and the zip line. Both 40 feet up. I have a fear of the Lord, and a fear of heights, so I stayed firmly planted on the ground, lol.

While at the ranch, I got to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in months and someeven years (Shout out to Tammy Duke!!! I LOVE YOU!). It felt so wonderful and so relaxing. Then, there was my favorite part...Adoration. Just sitting with Jesus was amazing. The whole weekend was like a vacation with Jesus! Then, as if that wasn't enough fun I got to participate in the Lifesavers Kickoff/Fishcamp!!!! I went to Mass and sang (my FAVORITE!!!), then, at the kickoff, I got to sing with MIKE HOWARD and THE BAND!!!! I wish you all could have been there last night!!!! Imagine, 100 teens, all in blue shirts, jumping up and down, singing at the top of their lungs, hands in the air, praising JESUS!!! I was SO blessed to be a part of it! These teens were so loving the music and just wanted to be there to praise our Lord. What could be better?

I learned some things about myself this weekend...
~I'll stick to carousels. Real horses are not for me.
~I love to play air bass guitar (even during Mass, hey, I'm in the back row and it's for Jesus. Don't judge me, lol)
~I felt loved. Not just by Jesus, but by my friends.
~That other people make mountains out of molehills, not just me.
~That friendships can return even though you haven't talked since the dinosaurs roamed.
~That no how many friends I have that love me, deep down, I don't believe they do. Actually, George pointed that out to me, and he's right. Old wineskins, new wine. Hey, I'll add it to my to do list.
~That even though Catholic guilt is a powerful thing, I can release myself from a lot of it.
~That I *can* have it all, not just in one season.
~That when God wants to talk to you, He'll wake you up anyway he can!!
~That Kim Overholt is still one of the coolest people I know.
~That Kim K is not just one of my forever friends, she's family.
~That Tina Myers and I are Irish twins.
~That Carol knows me better than anyone else in this world. And after God and George, she has my back. Always.
~That I love making people laugh.
~That Father Antony is funny. And, he has a map of India ;p
~That I still owe Justin a candy bar.
~What a biblioteca is (it's a library)
~That I cannot introduce people I love without crying.
~That Mary Boyle did, does now, and always will forever ROCK (and her hubby isn't too shabby either).
~That I can just sit and be. The 'still' will eventually get there, and
~That even though Julie couldn't make the retreat she was there with me the entire time!

I hope you all have the chance to go on this retreat. It truly was a vacation with Jesus!
Until next time...if you are feeling Psalm 142, try some Psalm 139!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

So, I leave tomorrow for a retreat at the Rockin' C Ranch. I don't have chaps, spurs, or know how to ride a horse. But I am looking forward to going. Albeit, I am not remotely packed. I am in need of some spiritual stuff. So, this weekend will be good.

As you know, work has been a bit rough and yesterday was no exception. This woman torqued me off so bad that this morning when I was walking into work I pretended to be on my phone so I wouldn't have to talk to her. But here comes the funny part. Ask me who I pretended to be talking to. Go ahead, ask. I'll wait. I talked to God. Seriously. And, I didn't even have to pretended! I was all "So, Dad, I told you yesterday about work and blah blah blah". But here comes the funny part...I paused and did the "yes. Uh-huh. I know....But. Yes. Okay, I'll try!" Now, I don't know what He was saying but I was responding. And you know what? I felt tons better! Man, AT&T truly has some kick butt reception!!!

I called my good friend Julie tonight. I haven't talked to her in aaaaaaggggggggges! I miss her terribly and I wanted to check in on her and you know what? She popped off with her usual sage wisdom! She helped me put things in perspective (much easier when wearing someone else's glasses and not your own!). She is such a gift from God!

I came across a video today. One of my favorites. One I'm sure most of you have seen. It's amazing. As I watched the video, and cried. I was reminded of how depressed I was since mom's death. I was reminded of how not only was God there for me (as always) but also my closest and nearest and dearest friends and even some new ones. I watched this video and realized how far I have come. I can remember exactly how I felt and I could relate to the girl in the video (in her despair). So thank you. Thank you Carol. For being my best friend. For loving me in the moments when I don't deserve it. For being my support. Thank you Kim. For being my own personal nurse and letting me abuse your occupation. Thank you for giving me your honest opinion always. For not blowing smoke up my butt. For loving me in spite of my idiosyncrasies. Thank you Liz. For truly understanding where I was walking as you had just taken the road. Thank you for holding my hand, and me. Thank you for your emails and your encouragement. Thank you, Patti. For walking with me and being so supportive, as always. Thank you, Tina. For our growing friendship. For making me laugh. For taking me by the hand and leading me back to myself. For understanding that I needed to hide away for a while, yet still being there for me. For being my 'wingman' and my "I'm with her". For seeing the FOREST for the trees. For not judging me. The horse likes the cat! For my Tuesday prayer group, my grief support group, and my Jeanne. Your prayers and love and strength are immeasurable. And, thank you to my loving husband, George. Your understanding and patience has been nothing short of a miracle. For picking up the major slack of laundry and dinner and dishes that I just could not face. For not understanding but telling me that it was okay. For sharing your parents with me. For loving me no matter what mood I am in. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Father Tim was right, you know. Last week, he said "when you say I love you, you are telling some one you will carry their cross for them." Thank you all for carrying mine. Know that I will be there to help you carry yours. Anytime. Anyplace. Anywhere.

Until next time. May the peace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you all!

PS. Enjoy the video and please feel free to share!!!