Yesterday was the carnival. I was psyched. I was going to work it for 2 hours, sing, and then wander. The day started with an email from my Carol. The woman is insightful, I'll give her that. She was commenting on one of my blogs and said something that was so very profound to me. Carol, I hope you don't mind, but I'm sharing it anyway! lol For those of you who don't know, Carol Schafer is my Mother in law. My Mom. She said...
See Gina it took a little more time but your sneakers are on and you are walking the road to living and laughing just like Carol Schafer would want you to do. Have a great day see you soon!
As usual, she's right. The email made me smile, so off to the carnival I went. After some initial confusion on where I was suppose to be, I got to work the baseball toss! Lot's of fun. I had to use my skills to get kids to play baseball instead of the cake wall. Who needs cake when you can have an orange, smiley face, stress ball!!!! lol but the kids did come, and it was awesome. Another highlight for me was seeing my friends whom I haven't seen since I started working. Usually, I'm the one to go up to someone to say hello. But yesterday, that wasn't the case. I kept hearing my name and people were calling me to say hello. It was such a great feeling! I got to see Agatha, Amy, Amanda, Carmen, Shannon, and Tammy among others. One of the highlights of the carnival was singing with Katie and the band. Anytime I can sing praise and worship songs, it's a great day. And the coolest part was when we were singing, I was looking out directly at our church. The sky was the most awesome blue, the clouds were fluffy and adorning the top of the church, and I was singing to my Dad. What could be better? Another cool thing about singing yesterday was watching my family. The girls and George watched us sing for a while. Then, Sarah had to go to a softball scrimmage. But there was Maria, walking by and waving. I felt loved. James? He was busy jousting. But he's heard me sing TONS. lol
After singing, I was just wandering around. It was the first time in a very long time, that I've felt okay. I felt like me. I realized that Carol was right (as usual, SHEESH!). I made it. I made it through the valley of the shadow of death literally. And, not only did His rod and staff give me comfort, but He gave me help. He gave me others to help me carry that awesomely heavy cross.
This morning, I watched the end of Evan Almighty (I've seen it tons). And there's this scene at the end, when Evan is talking to God. God was praising Evan for answering the call. Evan said "but I fought you the whole way!" God said "Yes, but you did it." Looking back, I complained the entire walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But, I did it. I came out the other side. Yes, I still miss mom. Yes, there are days when I cry over her, over my great loss. But, yesterday, walking the carnival, the sun shinning (beating down severely at times, lol) a breeze blowing (not fun when your trying to hold the papers for the guitar player, Kevin as we're singing), I felt blessed. I felt blessed by His grace, loved by my church family, and secure in the knowledge that I made it through what was definitely the worst six months of my life. And, that my Mom, Carol, is smiling.
Until next time,
Thank you for being a blessing to me!