Saturday, February 9, 2008

New wine. Old wineskins.

Clearly, it's been forever since I've blogged. No excuses really. Although I do have a reason, not necessarily a good one. I've been in this grief hole ever since Mom passed. Some days are good. Some days, not so good. But I am a work in progress.

I'm back to working. I had a show this afternoon. My first in two months. I met some really neat people too. And Kim, you'll be proud of me, I drove *all the way* to Custer and Elderado! lol And, before that I had training this morning. I always like going to training b/c not only do I get to see people from other clusters that I haven't seen in a while, I get to learn neat stuff too. They asked today what our why is for doing the business. Everyone has a why. I asked Ann if it's okay for your why to change. She said absolutely. My why used to be b/c I wanted to go to culinary school but it was too expensive. This way, I learn all these great tips and tricks, and they pay me. Now, my why is to just get out of the house and work my way out of the grief hole.

Things I am learning during this transition is that you can't rush the process. That actually sucks. I didn't realize that's what I was doing until Jeanne mentioned it to me. Another thing I'm learning is that people care. A lot. However, even though their intentions are good no one knows exactly what to say. So, here's some help. There's nothing you can say to make it better. You can't bring my mom back. You can send me an email letting me know I'm in your thoughts (thank you Carol, Tina and Sarah). You can however tell me you love me. You can hug me. You can even cry with me if you'd like. Most of all you can be patient with me as I regale you with tales of my mom out of the blue. You can be patient with me as I continue to have good days and not so good days.

This lenten season is a time for us to grow closer to God. It is a season for each of us to look inside of ourselves and see what we can do to strengthen ourselves and our relationship with God. I plan on being like Punxsutawney Phill and finally peeking my head out of the hole. And instead of six more weeks of winter, I'll be putting new wine in new wine skins.

Many blessings to each of you this lenten season.

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