I love movies. No really. I love watching them. Some of my favorites I've watched what seems like a gazillion times. I love quoting movies, referencing movies, you name it. One reason (one of like a bazillion) I fell in love with George was that when we started out friends, we both liked an obscure 80's teen movie that I could watch with no volume and do the entire dialog (Some Kind of Wonderful). Over the years, I found that there is a movie quote to fit just about everything I'm feeling at any given time (to the kids "you're killing me, Smalls!" from The Sandlot to various ones that George and I just love or found hysterical "I'll see you when I see you or I'll see you another time" from I Love You, Man.) There's quotes for breakfast (usually said after breakfast but technically works after any meal.."I could of had churriso and eggs!" from Midnight Run hysterical movie).
To no surprise, our kids love movies too. In fact, years ago, we created the movie game we play at dinner. One person will come up with a movie quote and whoever knows it raises their hand. Quote person calls on someone and whomever gets it goes next. This results in either a)bouts of laughter (most of the time) or b) irritation and yelling b/c insert name of kid here is never calling on me only insert name of other kid and my hand was up first (sometimes). On the whole though we have fun.
There are quotes that hit close to home that remind me of me. My CRHP sisters will tell you...."If you only knew how much I want to say but don't! Give me some credit will you!" Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables.
Sometimes, well, lots of times, I do movie quotes in my head. I was at work the other day and someone said 'garnish' and in my head I said "That caviar is a garnish!" from You've Got Mail. I cracked myself up. I learned a long time ago that not everyone gets my humor. They can appreciate it sure, but not always get it.
I remember growing up watching movies and the feelings that were tied to them. We watched the Sound of Music every year around Thanksgiving. Why does Rolf turn out to be a tool? Sheesh! I remember watching The Great Santini. We couldn't watch that movie very often it was pointed out that The Great Santini was a mirror image of my father. Meh. Depends on the day or his mood. While he wasn't always the greatest or Ward Clever, he wasn't exactly Bride of Chucky either. I learned very quickly that I don't like scary movies. Suspensfull, yes. Scary, no. I loved romantic movies, comedy's, drama. They were an escape for me from the perils and pitfalls of being an awkward child/teenager looking for acceptance.
As I grew up, I fell out of movies somewhat and more into books. Historical romance books to be more specific. Most anything by Julie Garwood or Jude Deveraux. I love how they were usually set in Ireland. How the hero didn't look like a perfect Norse God. No, he usually had some sort of scar on his face that rendered him unattractive. The women are always strong, but don't realize how strong they are at first. These books became great escapes for me. Then, I came to St. Jude's Catholic Church. The more I learned about my faith and myself, those romance books gave way (not entirely) to books about my faith and Catholic studies to deepen my understanding of who I am, why I'm really here, and what is expected and asked of me. Some days this brings me much joy. Other days, not so much.
I've taken to reading (what is now one of my very favorite blogs) from Fr. Tim, my beloved Priest http://frtimsreflections.blogspot.com/. They make sense to me and I enjoy them. Except when I notice myself in them in not a good light. I mean, who wants to look in the mirror and see a zombie looking back at them? Today was such a day. In the blog he writes "Unity is not an achievement that, once accomplished, it decorates the trophy case. It is a choice made every day. “I choose to love you with the differences that we embrace as opportunities to love.”" How do I do that? There are people I see that I don't like. At all. That as my Mema would say are full of piss and vinegar. I work with such a person. Seriously?! Seriously?! In order to further God's plan, I have to love this person or embrace her as an opportunity to love? What the flagnogg (from Monsters vs. Aliens!)
But then, as I ponder those words, I thought Does God realize what He's asking me to do? Does He see the unfairness of the situation! Then Bob (for you new readers, Bob is the Holy Spirit. He and I are on a first name basis). Gently reminds me how God sent His son down here. How Jesus was not exactly well loved by everyone. How when He did nothing wrong, His death was called for over that of a known murderer. Yet Jesus loved everyone, even through the unfairness of it all.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying I am like Jesus. Not even close. I am a sinner, He was not. But what I think is cool here is that God and Jesus both knew what was going to happen. That they saw the unfairness of it all. That they had to deal with hate. Yet, Jesus chose to love everyone. How could I not at least try to do something that God is asking me. And, it's not like He's asking just me to do it. No, He's asking each and every one of us. So, that really isn't unfair then, is it? Sure, I have to go to work in a situation everyday that is totally unfair. But I am called to love this person. So, I've decided there are different levels of love. I can love her b/c she is a child of God. Hey, it's a place to start, right?
And, sure, it would be easy to say I've "suffered enough for the heaven of heavens" from the Song of Bernadette. But who hasn't? None of us have had perfect lives. No, that perfection will come in the next life. Sure, I can dwell on how bad things get, or I can look in the mirror and when I see the zombie staring back at me, I can choose to change the zombie back into the child that God created. After all, aren't we all a work in progress?
Until next time,
I wish you some zombie moments for that is when we begin to change.
Love,
Me
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