For those of us who have lost a love one, some days it feels like yesterday and others it feels like a lifetime. I wonder if that's what heaven is like, when a thousand years is like one day and one day is like a thousand years. I woke up excited this morning as tomorrow is my daughters 22nd birthday. Then, it dawned on me. I confirmed with Big Daddy, today is Mom' birthday. Not just that, but it's her tenth birthday in heaven. I miss my Mother-in-love more than I can explain.
I miss talking with her every week.
I miss hearing her voice.
I miss making her laugh. I think I miss that one most of all.
She was so easy to make laugh. Not one of those 'I'm humoring you' laugh', but an honest-to-goodness laugh.
My time with her was so very short, only 9 years. That's not a lot of time. I was lamenting to Big Daddy this morning on how much I have missed out with her. How many hugs. How many conversations. How many laughs? What would our relationship be like now? She genuinely liked me. Loved me. Not because I was her daughter-in-love, not because I gave her three grandchildren, but because of who I am. Just me. Perfectly imperfect me. This is a huge deal for me, because when you grow up with one of the people who is suppose to love you unconditionally, doesn't, it's surprising when people actually do. When you grow up with that deficit, it causes you to think that people only like you because you're friends with so-and-so, not because you're your own amazingly, wonderfully, eccentric self. Mom did that for me. She loved me warts and all. She (and Dad) accepted a low self-esteem, domestic abuse survivor, with three tiny children with open arms. She (aside from my own amazing Mom and Mema) is one of the greatest women I have had the blessing of knowing.
Happy birthday, Mom. Have a great day and share a birthday shot with Jesus for me. I love you and miss you!
Until next time,
Let's go EAGLES!
Love,
Me
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