Friday, May 21, 2010

The bracelet, the Owl and the Compass

This evening I come home after a long day. I go upstairs into my bathroom and, I take off my bracelets that my Carol gave me (that I didn't give away lol). I then take off my black cross necklace that my Julie gave me as my birthday present a couple years ago (I didn't forget yours, I promise, I'm still searching trying to find what I'm looking for) and then I see my pms shot glass that my Tina gave me by my sink. I see both pictures of me and Carol and me and Julie on my sink and the thought wanders through on how I am surrounded by those I love all the time.

I got to spend quite a bit of time with my Carol today. A few precious hours. We talked about nothing. No, really, I mean, it wasn't quantum physics, it wasn't the kids, it was just talk about nothing and I loved every second of it. Then, she and I got to sing at Billy's funeral. She stood next to me and it felt so good to have her so close. In one of the eulogies, it was mentioned that the person giving the eulogy and Billy were at the same table during CHRP and became good friends right after. I turned to look at my Carol and smiled. That's US I thought! I don't get to spend much time with my Carol, or my Julie, or my Tina. So, the times we do share, the phone calls, the emails, the texts, those are what are most precious to me.

Everyday I go out, that I'm not in my work uniform, I put on my bracelets from Carol. At least twice a week, I'm wearing my Julie's necklace and everyday, I see my PMS shotglass from Tina. And, while I don't get to be with them everyday, they are with me, everyday.

I was describing my friendship with my Julie to someone a couple weeks ago (I can't remember who it was) and I said that she was my breath. Carol is my home. Tina, she is my sanity and Julie, Julie is my breath. I can't breathe without her. She and I, we are cut from the same, small and tattered, soft, beautiful cloth. We are tea cups. She and I, we are defying gravity. We are friends... for good. She is one of my most important links to Jesus. If Jesus is my compass (as Julie likes to say), the Julie is the case that holds the needle that points to Jesus. Me? I'm the little part at the end where you put the strap through. Not overly important, but useful nonetheless :)

Then, I come into my bedroom and there is a picture of me with My Sharon. She's stronger than Sisyphus and wiser than the owl in the hundred acre wood. She is only a phone call or an email away, and she'll BE HERE NEXT WEEK!!! She's very wise. She's the one whom I go to when things don't always make sense. She speaks Gina very well and translates life into Gina and then I understand things a lot better. When I grow up, I want to be like her! But I digress. I am not only surrounded by the people I love everyday, whether it be by wearing their jewelry or seeing their pictures, I am surrounded by Jesus.

Jesus is with me every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every year. He is present in my friendships, my love, my faith, my work. He calls to me to come to Him. I wish I could say every time He calls I go running willingly, but not so much. And, that's okay. I didn't say it was right, I said it was okay. Yea, I'm not having the best go round this last little bit of time, but so what?! Everyone has something. And, like Father Tim says, 'just look to the Cross'. And, that's what I do. I know that no matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, I can call on Him, and He will be there. I can't tell you how many times I've asked Him to just hold me, or asked the Virgin Mary to hold me and wrap me in her mantle. My faith is like a huge tree firmly rooted in my faith. Sure, big bad winds come and my branches sway and I may loose some leaves, but in the end, I am still standing.

So, everyday, I clothe myself with my Carol, Tina, Julie and Sharon. I have Christ behind me, before me, and within me. Then, I go outside ready to face the world, after I have my coffee of course.

Until next time,
Say a prayer for Billy and the entire Harrison and Church families


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