As I mentioned a few posts ago, I like movies. Scratch that. I love movies. When it comes to movies, George will tell you that I have no taste (he forgets that I picked him! lol). Sure, I love some movies that everyone else does. But, I also am not a fan of others that got rave reviews...i.e. LA Confidential (how Kim Basinger got an oscar is beyond me! I say it should've went to Minnie Driver) and Gone With The Wind...SPARE ME! I've learned to tell people "I appreciate it for the cinematic masterpiece that it was for it's time" but HELLO, talk about a downer of a movie! Depressing! One thing after another goes wrong and no happy ending! I also watched movies that people found funny, but I just ended up feeling bad for the main character (There's Something About Mary and Meet the Parents). While I found moments of funny, I didn't find them laugh out loud, just sad for the person being made fun of. Yes, I know it's a movie and all acting, but still.
Lately, I've watched a movie that won a Razzie award. For those of you who don't know what the Razzie's are, it's an award for the worst movie, actor, actress, et al of the year. It's the anti-oscars. I watched the movie called All About Steve. Now, George will tell you that the only reason I like it, is because it stars my friend Sandra Bullock. No we're not friends in real life, but in my head, yes. I'm also friends with Jennifer Aniston. I will not see anything that has Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie in it. Home wreckers, I tell ya! You want to leave your wife, be a man and leave your wife, don't cheat on her. They don't need my eight dollars. Well, neither does Jen, but I've got her back, lol. I also won't see anything with Tom Cruise in since he went off the rails. But, I digress. I've love Sandra Bullock and her movies ever since she did Love Potion no. 9 waaaaaay back in the day. Sure, some weren't her best (28 days) but I don't think All About Steve is one of them.
Her character, Mary Magdalene Horowitz, resonates with me. She works at the local newspaper as the person who creates the crossword puzzle. Therefore, she knows a lot. She also knows a lot of useless information, minutiae. She meets a guy through a blind date set up by their parents and she basically follows him. Thus, becoming the butt of the joke, the main part of the story. She took his initial words "I wish you could come with me" or something to that effect, literally. But as I watched this movie, I saw myself in her character. She talks a LOT. She talks just about as much as Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables. She talks as much as I do. At one point, when she's in the turning point of the movie, the feel good part, she says "words have meaning. Words hurt." And, later in the same scene, when in a rant she says "he was my ticket to normal." Then, when asked, "why do you want to be normal?" She says, "I don't". Those lines stuck with me.
The first quote about words, it made me remember my teenage years and how being on the receiving end, words hurt. Then, as I thought more, I realized this lent thing. It's a lot of work. Sure, I can be easy and just go through the motions, but Jesus didn't go through the motions when he went on the cross so...My words hurt just as much as the words I heard when I was a teenager. I talk a lot about my work and the couple people that like to cause drama. I like to say "I don't gossip, so listen good the first time", and I mean it as a joke, partly. I can get sucked in to the drama fairly easily. I can easily get on the bandwagon and joke (not really joking) about these people. Then, there are days when my faith comes into play (sadly, not everyday) and I try to resist talking about these people. I have gotten better, though. When they irritate me, I bite my tongue and say a Hail Mary. When I want to say something, I smile and nod and say a Hail Mary. But, sometimes, most of the time, my humanness comes through and I fail. Becoming who I was created to be is hard. And, then I remember, it's not suppose to be easy, just worth it.
The second quote, about being normal, I loved b/c I'm not normal. I spent my entire childhood and all of my twenties and part of my thirties wanting to be normal. Then, St. Jude's and chrp made me realize that I am normal. I'm my version of normal. I dance to the beat of my own drum. Heck, I have my own orchestra. Then, they're are songs about not being normal like "Make your own kind of music" by the Mama's and the Papa's or "Pork and Beans" by Weezer. "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin Degraw and "Free to Be Me" by Francesca Battisteli, and a whole host of others. And, to be quite truthful, I don't think normal exists. Sure, everyone wants to belong. Everyone wants to fit in. Somewhere. It's just finding that group of people who appreciate you for your uniqueness that's not easy. But, eventually, we find them, even Mary Horowitz.
Lent is about being who I am, just a better version of myself. Lent, is about being who God is calling me to be. And, the coolest part is that even when I falter, on a daily basis, as I always do, He still loves me. Whether I eventually become who He is calling me to be or not. Whether I become the world's version of normal or not, He still loves me. He will always love me.
So, if you get a chance, watch All About Steve. No, it's not the greatest, but it's enjoyable.
Until next time,
Be yourself. Don't worry about what the haters say. As long as you like you, that's all that matters. And, hey, I like you. Just, the way you are!
Love,
Me
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