So, I got another think about it text from my friend this morning. It said "our peace does not depend on the kindness or actions of others". My response was "Really? You sure about that? How does it work then because clearly I've been doing it wrong."
Then, I decided that today I would meditate on peace and not on my bible study as I did not do it at this point. Usually, I like to do it in the morning and have something to mentally chew on throughout the day. However, Iggy was sick and I don't think anyone slept. So, this peace thing was something to chew on and I was thankful. However, when I got to work, it was not peaceful at all. It was one of the more hectic days we've had in a while. I'll spare you the gory details. Just know that if you look up crappy day in the dictionary, you'd see my day today. I tried to chew on peace, but it didn't get as deep as I wanted too.
Here's what I've come up with...my peace is suppose to be dependent on me and me alone. I can have this beautiful peace bubble where the weather is absolutely perfect. I'm in shorts and there's a cool breeze just enough to feel good, not strong enough to make you cold and want to go inside. It's slightly overcast and the leaves on the trees are orange and red with just a hint of green left. Crickets are chirping and I am still. The days events rush through my head like a movie trailer at full speed and truthfully, I'd like them out as fast as they can go. It's only when the movie trailer stops and my head settles down that I can hear my heart, and God. This is my peace. This is the place I love to be. Where I long to be. But, as I told a friend the other day, 'you can't live in the peace bubble because life keeps getting in'. So, what is the whole point of peace? Is it a place where I go and recharge? Is it a place where I am to continually stay and not let the world in? If so, how do I fight against the inside world coming in? The bad days at work? The sick kids? The arguing kids? The wanting to help friends with their dilemmas?
One thing that kept running through my mind today whenever I had the moment to chew on peace was this: at Mass, one of my favorite parts is when the priest says "the peace of Christ be with you all". Have you ever thought about what the peace of Christ was? I chewed on it for a bit. what can I say, amidst the craptastick day that was today, I was hungry, so I chewed! lol Jesus was a peaceful guy. Even when everyone wanted to stone the lady He sat there writing in the dirt with his finger calmly asking questions. Peaceful! How do I get that kind of peace? How do I sit calmly when I see injustices happen everyday, at work and all around? Plus, here's a little tidbit I'm not sure you guys know. I was born without a filter that stops you from saying things you shouldn't and tact. I was born without tact. I'm a straight shooter and will tell you what's what and you don't even have to ask! How do I become peaceful and deal with all of that?
I'll tell you...I have absolutely no idea. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. So, here's what I've come up with. I will go to my peace bubble as long as I am able. When the world comes knocking, I'll let it in and try to deal as *calmly* as possible with what is tasked before me. Then, go back in my bubble. Not sure how it's gonna work, but it's worth a shot. I'll keep you updated.
Until next time,
The peace of Christ be with you all.