When you talk to God, you're praying. But when He talks to you, people think you're nuts.
What happens when God talks to you? I've been talking to God lately. Telling him my woes and trials and praying for others. I asked Him to send me billboards. He and I both know how thick I can be sometimes. Well, yesterday, He hit me smack in the head with a ton of billboards. Let me explain...
I've been dealing with a few decisions of my own. Choices really. Choices that can be a bit scary. The unknown usually is. I've been trying to make a new bible study at church the last two weeks called the Daughters of Mary. I finally made it last night. As I walked in, I headed to the water fountain and as I turned the corner, there was the sacred heart of Jesus painting, hanging where it always is saying "Jesus, I trust in you". I chuckled to myself and said "I'm workin' on it, I'm working on it." I made it to the fountain and then to the study. The first thing I read is the spiritual Gift of the Week:
We ask for the grace of courageous faith in the Trinity. Mary had a courageous faith in the mystery of the Trinity. In the love of the Father, she said yes to the Spirit and gave birth to Christ, and also, she guided the birth of the Church at Pentecost.
Immediately, I started laughing to myself. I know I don't have a courageous faith! Then we read a homily from Pope Francis. Here is the excerpt that spoke to me.
Newness always makes us a bit fearful, because we feel more secure if we have everything under control, if we are the ones who build, program, and plan our lives in accordance with our own ideas, our own comfort, our own preferences. This is also the case when it comes to God. Often we follow him, we accept him, but only up to a certain point. It is hard to abandon ourselves to him with complete trust, allowing the Holy Spirit to be the soul and guide of our lives in our every decision. We fear that God may force us to strike out on new paths and leave behind our all too narrow, closed and selfish horizons in order to become open to his own. Yet throughout the history of salvation, whenever God reveals himself, he brings newness and change, and demands our complete trust. Are we open to "God's surprises"? Or are we closed and fearful before the newness of the Holy Spirit?
At this point, silent tears began to fall down my face. Gods was speaking directly to me. He knew exactly what has been going on with me. He knows how I last blogged about blind trust in Him. Reading this was extremely comforting. It was through the Pope that God blatantly showed me that the decisions that have been turning in my head like a whirling dervish are good. That I shouldn't let the fear of newness and getting out of my comfort zone keep me from making necessary decisions. How often have I not only shut the door, but locked it and pulled down the blinds to God's surprised? He totally pegged me on my control freak nature and the feeling of security that comes with it. However, God was not done talking with me yet. We read John 16: 12-15. Here is the excerpt that got me. "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now." That right there is the answer to me constantly wanting to know God's plan! My first thought was "how bad is it, if I'm not going to be able to bear it?" But listening to these women talk, I learned that it is God giving me exactly what I need to get through exactly what I'm going through. Just the right measure. No more. No less.
So, I left the bible study extremely elated. Knowing that God has lots of surprises for me, I just have to open my hand and my heart to Him. The first thing I did this morning was make a huge decision that was extremely out of my comfort zone. I'll let you know how that goes. Open hand and open heart, right? I can do this, and you can too. What is holding you back from God's surprises? Are you a control freak like me? Are you scared, like me? You can do it. Like Bill Murray says in "What About Bob?" "baby steps". We can do this!
Until next time,
Say a prayer. Any prayer.