Monday, September 27, 2010

Dancing in the Minefields

Okay here's the situation (my parents went away on a weeks vacation....sorry, sorry 90's flashback) yes, it's another update!  Two in two days, but not surprisingly, I have more to say, lol.

First, I'd like to thank all of you for your kind words.  I am glad to know that I was able to help you by passing along Carol J's words of wisdom regarding prayer.  And, I am glad that in my weakness, I can show you that you don't have to be strong all the time.  That rollercoasters and valleys will happen, just as sure as the sun will rise, we will be on top of the mountains and screaming down the coaster with our hands up in the air smiling and laughing (as opposed to screaming as we are climbing up the rollercoaster 'this is way too hard!')

Work is well, work.  A few of us try to have fun and laugh but sometimes, things happen beyond our control and it makes it a tad difficult.  As of today, my boss is out for two weeks with a microfracture on her elbow.  I've decided we need to wrap her in her own bubble.   She's fallen off of atv's and other stuff, and recently a chair!  A CHAIR! lol  I told her she needs to stop drinkin.  She said she doesn't drink, to which I replied, maybe you need to start! lol  She's awesome.  After work today I went to Dr. B's.  I have a pulled muscle in my back.  So, I called George to let him know.  Here's our conversation:

Me:  Hey honey, just got out of the Dr's.  It's a pulled muscle.
George:  How much was it?
Me:  $30
George:  $30 for a pulled muscle
Me:  Yup.
Me inside my head "I'm fine though, thanks for asking" lol

There was a similar conversation had regarding the muscle relaxers that Dr. B called in, but I'll spare you that conversation lol.

Sometimes men can be so clueless.  They are a much different species than us.  And, most of the time I am grateful for it.  Note, I said 'most of the time' lol.

Here's is how I've been feeling in a nutshell.  Please keep in mind, that these are my feelings and mine alone.  They are not the feelings of the NFL, NBC, or George (half the time George finds out how I'm feeling from here lol).  And, you cannot copy them without express written consent from the National Baseball League. 

This past chrp meeting on Saturday helped me see things a little more clearer.  Then, I received beautiful emails from my podmate and my Sharon and Lisa.  Hey Sharon, I forgot to tell you Sandy and I are now friends on FB!!!  All these emails said something that I needed to hear.  One of them said that I need to just 'be simple in my faith for a while'.  I really liked that.  It was one of those a-ha moments.  It was also one of those 'a doi why didn't I think of that myself' moments.  But I mean, just think of it.  Just chew on it and meditate on it with me.  Why do we make our faith so complicated?  Why, do I, who know God loves me no matter what, try to prove my faith to Him?  I take on a daily rosary for a few months at a time.  I tried this year long novena.  I made it two months!  I don't know if I'm trying to prove my faith and love to and for Him, to honor Him.  I think sometimes I get confused sometimes (HA more like a lot of times).  I know He is here and He loves me unconditionally no matter what I do or don't do.  That's the great thing about the word unconditional.  There are no strings attached.  God loves me whether or not I love Him (which I do, deeply).  He loves me whether or not I listen to Him (I try too).  He loves me whether or not I come to Him (mostly I do.  Sometimes I do.) But, I think I might have a bit of a Peter complex.  He was human, he loved Jesus deeply and yet he betrayed Him.  So, maybe in my twisted way of thinking, if I say these rosaries, and prayers and novena's I can prove to Him that I am not like Peter and won't turn on Him.  The funny thing is, in comparative terms, I'm just like Peter.  I failed in my prayers to Him, just like Peter failed Him.  But I think also that maybe, my ADHDness of not being able to finish and putting pressure on myself maybe, just maybe it's His way of reminding me that I don't need to prove anything to Him.  That while He loves that I keep trying to please Him and that I do love Him, I don't need to try so hard, or at all.  That He loves me without any conditions.

Yea, I got that just from the 'be simple in my faith for a while' line!  Imagine what I could do with a whole sentence! lol  But, it's not me.  Nope, not one bit.  It's all Bob.  And, as my Podmate will tell you, Bob rocks!

Dancing in the Minefield came from a song I heard on the radio today.  It much like God Gave Me You in that it is to a spouse, but it is also apropos for friends and want to share it with all of you, my friends.  It reminds me of Paul Simon's music a little :D  Sit back and enjoy, my  friends.

Until next time,
Pray for quick healing for my boss, and for Dr. B as he's got the crud.


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