Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Fear, Bruce Willis, and Angels

Things I have learned in the past week...facing your fears doesn't mean you've conquered them.  Angels really do exist, and God really does listen.  The last two I was never in doubt of.  The first one, I just figured would sort of take care of itself.  Let's begin, shall we?

Cue the Scooby Do flashback lines....

Last Saturday morning, George was leaving on a trip to Philly to spend time with Dad who just turned 70.  Those of you who live in Philly whom we love dearly that he did not see while he was there, please do not take offense.  This was purely a trip for him to spend time with Dad.  It was a quick trip that's all.  Hopefully, he and I will be able to make it up soon and see everyone.  But, I digress.  I have yet to drive to the airport.  We've lived in Dallas going on 8 years.  I've driven as far as Medical City, but never to the airport.  The ride scares me.  Why?  I have no idea.  It just does.  So, George and I leave at 4:30 am to get him to the airport.  Now, it must be said that my son was going to go with us so that he could drive back with me for company and/or moral support.  Said child complained in his best whiny voice as to why he had to go.  He was so tiiiiired.  I told him go back upstairs and not to worry.  He then said "you can't do this".  Challenge accepted there, buddy!  I told him yes I could and to go back to bed.  Funny how same kid can get up at five in the morning when he has to be to work at six, but when a parent asks him he's too tired.

 Let's fast forward to the airport.  I drop my loving husband off.  There are some things you need to know, if you don't already.  George's Dad is my dad too.  No, we're not inbred.  His Dad has been the most amazing father to me and I could not love him any more if he were my own flesh and blood.  I so wanted to go up to Philly.  But, it was homecoming weekend here, and with three teenagers....I got to do the mom thing, which I was excited and happy about, but was bummed I couldn't go, nonetheless.

So, I drop George off at the airport.  No lingering goodbyes.  I have a cell phone fully charged.  Almost a full tank of gas, I am prepared (mostly) to drive home.  Did I mention how I'm not a fan of driving from the airport?  And, away I go.  No time for tears, I'm too full of anxiety.  This next bit is the conversation I had in the car with myself and with God.

I have to merge out of the airport to the North exit.  "Dear God, where did all these cars come from at 5:30 in the morning?!"  There's a two lane merge.  I'm going to go when this van next to me goes.  Pleasedon'thitmepleasedon'thitme!  Ahhh, it didn't hit me!  "Thanks, God!" 

Next is finding the toll tag exit...ahhh there it is!  And I go thru.  How do I get to 635?  What do you mean there's no lines on the road!  I have to go diagonal!  Who built this road?  This is insane!  Dear God, don't let any cars come behind me (no one is there at this point) till I make it over to 635!  Ahhh, thanks again, God!  Okay on 635.  Speed limit is 60.  WHY IS EVERYONE GOING 70!!!!  Go ahead and pass me please!!!!  FINE!  I'll speed up.  Dear God, it's axe murderer dark!  Where is 75!!!!  How am I suppose to get all the way over there?!  Is the guy in front of me drunk or just trying to get in the next lane?  Please put a car in front of me....ahhh thanks!!!  Ahhh the mecca!  75!!!!  I know where I am!!!!!  Although, I've never driven this far down, I know where I am!  Man, my hands are hurting.  Didn't realize I was gripping the wheel so hard!  And, I make it home at 6:10.  Take that didn't think I could do it, son! HA!

Then, I spend part of my morning volunteering at the St. Jude carnival and then the afternoon getting all three kids ready for homecoming.  I marvel at the fact I faced a fear today.  Still a little wired though.  I can tell you this...come Monday evening, when I have to pick up my husband from the airport, I'm leaving early while it's still dark out.   No more night driving for me!

Do you know what a big sense of humor God has?  Fast forward to Monday evening.  George's flight was DELAYED until 11:30 AT NIGHT!!!!  UGGGH!  One of my very best friends and one coworker tell me to take 121.  "Straight shot!  No problem!"  I left the house at 9:30 PM.  I arrive at the airport at 11:30 PM!!!!!  I get almost to the airport and then I hit night construction!!!  It was awful.  There was a detour and I got lost for a minute or two.  I had the grand idea to follow the truck in front of me that had a police sticker on and a Marine one too.  I figure since he was in the airport lane, he knew where he was going and if something happened, he'd help out.  Never mind that he was in front of me. lol

Somehow, in all the construction we lost the Marine (we being Sarah and I)  we stopped at a McDonald's for directions.  The clerk said "never take 121! lol"  The whole time I weaving my way in construction all I can think of is the scene from Die Hard where Bruce Willis says "Come out to the coast...have a few laughs" lol  When we came out, there was a woman in a minivan, Becky getting directions from 2 construction workers.  I asked if she was going to the airport and was lost too.  Sure enough she was!  We decided to join forces and get lost together!  Fifteen minutes later, we were at the airport.  Sarah and I parked and made it in to get George with zero time to spare!  I still can't believe it took two hours to get there! lol

This was on Monday.  It's now Wednesday.  I finally let go of all the anxiety today.  I likened it to when your kid gets hurt.  You do what you need to do, deal with the situation and then, in the aftermath have your breakdown and go "Do you know how bad that could have been?"  or "My poor child!"  I was so on edge all weekend with the drive on Saturday and knowing that I had to drive on Monday that it just stored up.  Sure, George was now home, but it took a while to come down from all the anxiety.  And, to my Carol and Tina and of course my loving husband, who told me how proud of me they were, thank you.  That means the world to me.

So, finally today, all that anxiety finally broke.  I broke down to my husband.  Did I tell you how amazing he is?  He comforts me and makes me feel so loved.  Then, he brings me some chocolate cake!  Told you he was awesome!

So, now that I drove to and from the airport will I do it again?  I don't know, but I'll tell you I'm not in a hurry that's for sure.  But I will tell you that God is awesome.  He sent me angels a Marine and Becky to help me face my fear.  Keep in mind I said face, not conquer.

Until next time,
Remember, you are loved!


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