For those of you non Catholics reading, or for you Catholics who don't know, a novena is a specific prayer prayed for nine consecutive days. Just google novena's and you'll get a veritable cornucopia of novenas. Currently, I am doing a novena to Mary the undoer of knots...http://www.theholyrosary.org/maryundoerknots. I've heard this prayer to be very powerful. So, I asked, 'do I ask for just one thing or can I list a bunch?' I was told I could list a bunch and so I have. Today was day seven. Here's what I've got so far:
The first day, I said the novena in the evening before bed. This was rather difficult as I was in bed and very tired, but I prevailed! Day two was said in the morning. Lately, I find that I am going to bed earlier resulting in my awaking earlier. So, I used that time to get up and dressed for work, then go downstairs and say the novena. This has worked well so far. I noticed about day three how I have been feeling very peaceful. Which, is not something I am use to feeling. It's not the 'I don't care' feeling that I sometimes get. It's actually a very peaceful feeling. Quite foreign to me actually. Day six resulted in an argument with child #3. I was quite angry with her and let it be known, rather loudly. When George came home in the evening, I replayed the event with child #3 and was just as loud. Other things happened during the night that left me in a bad mood. In trying to explain them to my loving husband because he 'just wasn't getting it' I spoke louder and I'm pretty sure slower too. Kind of like when you find out someone is deaf, you talk louder and slower thinking that's all they need. After my outburst, I apologized to my husband. I explained how frustrated I was over child #3 and the events of the evening. And, I was yelling at him not about him. He, being the loving husband he is, totally understood that I wasn't mad at him, just at yet another situation out of my control. One of my thoughts as I was drifting off to sleep last night was 'where was the peace that I had been feeling?' How could my emotions go so out of wack? Well, that's easy. Mother nature! Women will understand. Men will duck and cover. lol
So, today is day seven. It's a new day. Two more days to go. None of my knots have been unknotted. They're still there. Maybe I'm going at it all wrong? Is it like it's a wish list and I give my wish list over and hope all of them will be granted but be happy if it's only one or two? Or, is it more of my faith in play here? That I make my requests known to God through the novenas and I know He'll take care of them? What happens if I get my whole list back and nothing is crossed off? Well, in as much as I hate to say it, so much so that I can almost feel the bile rising, God has a plan. And, no matter how many prayers I pray, no matter how many novenas I say or candles I light, if the answer is not now or no flippin way, that's the way it is. Dad understands me better than anyone. He understands that when my will doesn't match His will that I get upset. I want this, I want that. And, contrary to what some people might think, it's not always about material things. It's for peoples health, for peaceful deaths, for comfort of friends, for better jobs for others. For a good college for our children. Not just to wake up one morning a size 5 or for someone to come knocking on my door wanting to buy my house. I don't have an ivy league education. Heck, I haven't even finished college yet, and at 42 I can honestly say, I'm not gonna. What I can tell you is that while I get upset that I don't always get my way and His will prevails, I am smart enough to know that His will is what's best for me. Left to my own devices I'd probably be wheeled in for liposuction while eating a large strawberry cheesquake from Dairy Queen. (Seriously, have you tried those!).
So, here I sit with two days left to go in my novena experiment. And I've got some peace happening. I'm getting some rosary time, and I get to spend it with Mary, my Mom. What can be better than that? (seriously, Dad, if you're listening, just a couple things off the list, you pick!) lol
Until next time,
Pray for comfort for my friend who lost his Dad this week.
Love,
Me
PS. DAD COMES TO VISIT SATURDAY!!!!!!
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