Today

Today was such a very long day.  It was intentionally busy.  By that, I mean that I purposefully kept myself busy.  I ran any errands I could think to run.  I was home maybe a total of an hour.  I went to Carol's house (the monkey cave for those of you of four square, Javier, I'm the Mayor already! ha ha), Went to the library, and went to Tina's house (no name for her house as of yet, lol).  Tina was suppose to host bunco tonight.  As I think you all know, after years of not belonging to a group, I created my own.  While helping Tina get ready for bunco, she really wasn't feeling well.  FINALLY she called the doctors (she's 7 months pregnant).  They want her to head to the hospital.  So, I offer to cancel bunco for tonight as we are already short two people anyway.  She say "no".  So, I offer to host.  I then call people and have my friend Liz email them to let everyone know of the house change.  I then run to Kroger's to get snacks.  Come home, straighten the house and then get everything ready.

By this time, I am ready to drop.  I am physically exhausted and emotionally spent.  Then everyone showed up, well eight people showed up.  When I created this group, I prayed to Bob (the Holy Spirit) and asked Him who I should invite into the group.  He told me to pick the people that I love and that I want to spend more time with but really never get too.  After that, it was an easy choice.  Tonight, these eight women walked in the door, and as tired as I was, it didn't matter.  These eight women, Carol, Patti, Shelia, Carolina, Suzanne, Shannon and Liz.  They came and ate and drank and played bunco, and laughed with me.  We still need to find a name for our group but I'll tell you, I never, ever laugh so hard as I do on our bunco nights.  I sat there and just enjoyed being.  They all know about Mema.  They knew I really didn't feel like talking about it but they were there if I wanted too.  They, as always, are loving and supportive and it was a really great gift from God, not just tonight, but the group in and of itself. During the evening Tina and I kept in touch so we would all know how she was.  Six hours after going to the hospital she got to go home, tired, but fine.  During the night, even with all the laughs, my heart was heavy.

Mema made it through the night.  Then, today, the reality of the situation hit her and she just cried.  Hearing that just broke my heart.  I check in every two hours to get updates.  She sleeps constantly and her eyes don't move.  When she does wake up, she gets upset because she wants out of bed and her left side isn't cooperating because of the paralasis due to the stroke yesterday.  She can comprehend, but she can't talk anymore, which, makes her telling me she loved me yesterday even more special.

Another gift from God today was that my sister called to check in and make sure I'm alright.  It used to be years ago she and I were not close at all.  But that has changed dramatically.  That made me happy.

Now, everyone is gone, the kids are in bed.  Maria leaves for Steubenville tomorrow.  And I have to stop.  There's nothing left for me to do today.  I have no errands left to run and the house is cleaned up and now I have to stop.  Stopping means sitting still and thinking and that just does no one any good. lol  When I am busy I am concentrating on the task I'm doing or where I'm going next.  Sitting just makes me think and be irritated with God.  Yea, I'm not super irritated with Him, I never am for long anyway.  I'm irritated b/c like any child, I want MY way and I want it NOW!  I so wanted to be there before and now.  Like I said yesterday, I accept His plan, I just don't like it.

I am tired.  I don't sleep all that well usually.  Alyssa, if you ever wanna go out for coffee, Ihop is open 24 hours :)  But, it's late.  And so, I'm going to try and get some sleep.  Thank you all for being here.  Sharon, you are such an amazing friend.  Thank you for being so close even though you are so far away.  Carol, thank you for being there and letting me be quiet.  And, Tina, thank you for letting me boss you around today.  And a big thank you to whoever put Mema on the prayer chain.

Until next time,
Please continue to pray for a peaceful death for my Mema.

Love,
Me