Saturday, July 12, 2008

Forgiveness is a strage drug...

There's absolutely no way to make this post shorter, so grab a drink, maybe a tissue, and of course, some chocolate raspberry millano cookies.

As all of you know, I was married twice before. The abusive one, and before him, my first boyfriend. I like to joke that no one told me you're not supposed to marry your first boyfriend. But he was, and I did. We dated for three years long distance. Married for 22 months. There was no bad blood between us. We were just way to young and way to immature. His name was Juan Sepulveda. Johnny, as he loved to be called. He and I had a pact. We were always going to find each other. We remained friends and we were going to meet up 'someday'. So, when I landed in TX (He's from AZ) I started looking for him on and off.

His Mom was amazing. Maggie. She always called me Meja (my daughter. Somehow, I don't think I spelled that right, lol).

It's been about 16 years since either of us talked. And last night, I did some searching for John. I found him. I found him not where I ever expected him to be. Unbeknown to me, my johnny passed away 8 years ago on 01-02-2000 at the young age of 32. After a lot of tears (especially in the shower), I did more research and called the local library. It turns out he died at home. After calling my mom, my sister, and my dad (they all loved him too)...I called his mom. I prayed and asked God to give me the words.

I left her a message and she called back. Her husband died this past October (which I knew too) and I told her I had just found out about Simon (her husband) and Johnny. And, I wanted to make sure she was okay. We talked for about a half an hour or so. Johnny had a brain tumor. It lasted two years. He was married and had gotten the diagnosis a couple years after they were married. They have a son Johnathan who is now 10. Johnny died when Johnathan was two. His lovely wife nursed him and took care of him at home until the day he died. As I'm hearing all of this, I could not help but cry. Mom and I fell right back into each other as if the past 16 years had never happened and she was consoling me. "Oh Meja!" she said. She wanted to call me when it happened, but she had to deal with it herself. Losing a child has got to be the most devastating thing ever. She knows how much Johnny and I love each other. That we would always remain friends. That we were always each others first loves and that is something that no one can take away. Mind you, this has nothing to do with my marriage to George. He is truly the love of my life and will always will be. However, there is just something about your first love.

Mom and I ended the conversation with the exchange of our addresses and emails. She's going to come visit when she can. Apparently, she comes to TX a few times a year. I am immensely happy that Johnny was happily married, that he found someone who knew how great he truly was. That he finally had his son and that most of all he was happy.

The strange but wonderful thing is how it felt that no time had passed between Mom and I. It didn't matter that we were divorced. It didn't matter that her son and I were apart. She and I share a bond, a love for her son that will always be. She and I are connected and I will always be her Meja.

Johnny, Te quero mucho mi vida, siempre!

Until next time,

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